


Like My Life Depends On It

by PigSlay



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Ableism, Alcohol, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Autistic Liam, Gen, It's Complicated To Friends To Lovers, M/M, POV Multiple, Written by an Autistic Author, because enemies is too big of a word
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-21
Updated: 2019-01-21
Packaged: 2019-10-07 02:03:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 24,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17356868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PigSlay/pseuds/PigSlay
Summary: Back at City Of Wolverhampton College, Harry and his friends were the top of the food chain, with Liam at the bottom. But things take quite a turn when it’s time for Harry to start Uni in London - it would seem that here, Liam is the top of the food chain and Harry, Harry may quickly be earning his spot at the bottom. This is far from the only surprise though, as Harry finds himself forming a crush on the man in question. Will he be able to reconcile this with his friends? Does he even want to? This term is already turning out to be more confusing than he bargained for.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, before you start reading, I need you to read this: I have never been more nervous about posting a fanfic in my entire life. Sure, I have made Autistic-Liam a side character in my fics before but I have NEVER made it something that was talked about for more than one second - this is the most in-depth I've ever gone about autism in my stories. And I feel like, as I am posting this, I am not really posting him, I'm posting me. So much of this is based on my life (although I can say I've never been called That Word - which is censored - to my face). So, yes, please remember that before you comment I guess....
> 
> Anyway... 
> 
> I don’t know One Direction or anybody else who appears here. This was inspired by one of the prompts on the Lirry fic fest blog (this one: https://lirryficfest.tumblr.com/post/176852085292/lirry-fest-prompts-day-3) so thank you to the mod for planting the seed for this idea in my head, as well as hosting this in the first place. :) Thank you to Janee for being my brainstorm buddy and cheering me on even after you went on vacation and therefore weren't as readily available. Thank you to dearmrsawyer for being my beta reader. And finally thank you to Alex and Ash for being my cheerleaders and telling me how excited you were for this - without you Alex I feel like I would have diluted this story a lot but you told me "stories like yours need to be told".
> 
> LASTLY, even though I know I was petty with my names for The Bullies, I'd rather die than have it ever meet any of their eyes in reality! I'm sure they are good people!!

Liam enters the cafeteria, taking his usual spot at what one would probably label ‘the disabled table.’ He sits comfortably next to one of the two aid teachers that are helping Katelyn, a twenty year old student in a high chair, who has no fingers other than her thumbs, to eat her lunch. On his other side is a nonverbal kid a grade below him named Derin. Year eleven, the same year of the biggest bullies Liam has ever met in his life: Max, Siva, Jay, and Tom.

A lot of times Liam thinks he kind of brings it on himself, the bullying, by sitting at this table. Maybe he would be ‘less of a target’ if he didn’t sit here all the time. However, he loves talking with the aid teachers, feels like they’re more of his friends than most of the people in this school – other than his best mate Andy, but that’s one out of how many students? – and likes Katelyn and Derin, even if he needs the assistance of the teachers to communicate with the two of them.

As he reaches into his backpack, he sees that he forgot to pack a lunch. He mutters a word under his breath so the teachers can’t hear it, but Ms. Watson still looks up at him with concern in her eyes. “Do you want me to go into the line with you?”

Liam knows she’s asking that because she’s hoping her presence will make Max, Siva, Jay, and Tom less likely to bully him if they know a teacher is watching, and he appreciates her sentiment, but he worries that it will increase the bullying once she’s gone, with ‘teacher’s pet’ teases being added on top of all of the ableist insults.

“No, thank you Ms. Watson,” Liam says in what he hopes is a reassuring tone, but he’s not sure based on her still-concerned face. She drops the subject however. Liam stands up, using his backpack to save his place – not that anybody is going to try to sit at this table anyway – and walks towards the line.

It’s in his IES that he’s allowed to go to the front of the line, and the custodian on duty letting the students through thinks nothing of it when he steps in front of everybody else. However, Liam has neglected to consider who is at the front before he steps in, and perhaps this time he would have been better off waiting in the back…

“Well, well, well, look who it is,” Max says. Liam doesn’t look at him but he’s memorized their voices by now. “What, you think just because you’re ‘special’ you have the rights to walk in front of the rest of us who have been waiting longer?”

Liam focuses on getting his milk and salad, not seeing why Max is treating a school cafeteria line as an out-the-door line at a restaurant Liam skipped in front of. Truly it can’t be that important to their lives that he skipped ahead of them, can it?

As he’s trying to put a small bowl of mashed potatoes on his tray, either Max or one of the other boys jostles it so that the bowl falls down onto the floor. As Liam leans down to pick it up, he hears them laughing and high fiving each other.

“Hey, look at us,” Tom tells him. When Liam doesn’t listen, Tom literally kicks him in the butt. “Look at us!” Liam still looks anywhere but them, looking around for both a trash can to throw away the ruined paper bowl and also to see if a teacher saw any of that. It doesn’t appear so, since all of the teachers in close proximity are looking away from this ruckus.

As he stands back up, he turns his head back down to his tray, quickly getting a fresh bowl of mashed potatoes and putting the messed up bowl on the other side. Since he can’t find a trashcan inside here he will wait until he’s back in the outside cafeteria area again.

Before he can go to the ‘check out’ though, he feels a hand on his shoulder. It sends a shiver through him, as does the words that Tom whispers inside his ear. “Oh, I forgot, you ret***s couldn’t make eye contact even if it were going to save you from death.”

With that, Liam’s grip on his tray goes firm and he practically sprints over to the ‘check out’ area, giving them money from his Batman wallet as quickly as he can. The cafeteria lady takes the money, giving him a weird look but still making no comment. He’s grateful for that.

She gives him change and he strides on back to his seat, which, lucky for him, is close enough to the door that he doesn’t have to walk too long, but also far enough away that the bullies would probably get too bored to follow him all the way there. As he sits back in his seat, he’s vaguely aware of the concerned expressions the two aid teachers are giving him – he doesn’t have to see it to feel it – but he focuses on his food, taking a big spoonful of mashed potatoes first and following it up with a sip of milk.

He looks up a few moments later when he hears their familiar laughs coming from the check out line. As Tom, Jay, Max, Siva, and their friend who never seems to say anything, Harry Styles, walk out to go to the table they always sit in, Liam groans. He really, really needs to learn how to defend himself instead of letting those guys take advantage of him every single time. It’s not in him to want to fight people, but it’s not in him to take all of this sitting down either.


	2. Never See Me Coming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I commissioned tumblr user ohnoballoons for the art used in this chapter and two chapters from now, and she did not disappoint! Thank you lovely. :*

Harry is so excited for his first day at Uni. He’s got his student ID in a lanyard wrapped around his neck, like the proper fresher he is. He pulls his schedule out of his backpack and looks at his watch, noting that he’s got a good twenty minutes left. Cheering internally, he decides to make a stop at the little coffee shop area inside the cafeteria, ordering a café au lait to help him have the right amount of energy for this first day.

Although, if he’s being honest, he personally doesn’t know how coffee could make him even more energized and ready to take on the world than he already is. He looks around the tables, and as he takes the first sip of the café au lait, he decides he’s going to start making friends now – no time like the present, after all.

He walks up to the first person he sees – someone with black hair, brown skin, a bunch of tattoos on every visible body part except the face, with a mug of coffee in one hand and a laptop in the other hand – and sits down on the seat across from them.

“Hey there!” he announces, perhaps a bit too loudly. “Ready for another awesome day at this awesome Uni? Gooo Dolphins!”

The person chuckles for a second but doesn’t make any move to look up from their laptop. “I’m guessing this is your first day here huh?”

“What, does everybody here lose their University spirit by the second year or something?” Harry teases.

“More like the second week, quite honestly,” the person replies, clicking a button on the computer and then taking a sip of their own coffee, finally looking up. “I’m Zayn, what’s your name?”

“I’m Harry,” he replies, holding out his hand, which Zayn takes and shakes. “Where did you go to school?”

“Tong School in Bradford,” Zayn answers, taking another drink of coffee. “What about you?”

“City of Wolverhampton.” As he says this, Zayn’s eyes start to bulge out.

“Woah, you went to school with Liam?!” Zayn asks with a shocked smile. “That’s so cool!”

“…Huh?” Harry questions. He’s confused. Even though he never necessarily partook in any of it himself, it was literally impossible to miss how back in school Liam was always made fun of by everybody, but especially by his friends Tom, Siva, Max, and Jay. Maybe he should have done something to stop them from doing some of the things they did but he was afraid that if he said something he would lose his friends, and he didn’t want to lose his friends…

Just then, Zayn is interrupted by someone with short brown hair, white skin, and a few of the same tattoos as Zayn has, if Harry’s not mistaken. “C’mon lad, it’s almost time for lecture.”

“S***, didn’t realize how much time had passed, thanks Louis.” Zayn all but slams the laptop screen shut and, in one swift motion, unplugs it from the port it was plugged into and puts it into a backpack sitting next to the chair. Harry almost thinks Zayn has forgotten he is still sitting there, but then Zayn turns to face him with a smile. “Sorry I couldn’t chat long Harry, but I’ll probably see you ’round, yeah?”

“Yeah…” Harry replies distantly, still repeating Zayn’s reaction to where he went to school in his head. “Oh hey, don’t forget your coffee.” He motions to the cup Zayn almost left behind. Zayn just grabs it and mouths ‘thanks’ one last time before following the brunette out of there.

For some reason the barely-existent conversation he just had has rid Harry of all the original energy he had upon entering the coffee house. As he looks at his own watch, he realizes he too is almost out of time to get to lecture. He takes his café au lait in his hand and rushes to attempt to get to the room he’s supposed to be in, the exchange with Zayn replaying in his head.

In the hallway he is yelled at by someone with white skin and red hair. “Hey fresher! Where you from?”

“Uhhh,” Harry stutters, caught off guard. “Wolverhampton.”

“Oh word, you went to school in the same city as Liam Payne? That’s so cool. Next time you see him let him know I’m single.” The person winks.

“Right…” Harry responds awkwardly. “Hey, do you know where this lecture theatre is located by chance?” He asks, coming closer and pointing to his schedule.

“Ah yeah, you’re almost there, just two more right turns and you’ll see it.”

“Cool, thanks.” He basically sprints out of there as fast as he can. That was definitely up there for the weirdest encounter of his life.

As he makes his way to the room he silently hopes he won’t be asked what school he went to again for the rest of the day. He knows that’s probably not gonna happen, but he can dream.

It’s weird though. He can’t even deny it is. Going from a school where Liam was the most picked-on, the one labelled ‘loser’ by pretty much everybody, to a University where he’s like the most popular guy in the world.

Attempting to put those thoughts aside, he walks into the door of the lecture theatre and immediately has to fight to keep his jaw from dropping. In between Zayn and that Louis person with the matching tattoos, is Liam. Liam, with a super defined chest, abs impossible to miss. Liam, with tattoos all along his – also extremely muscled – arms. Liam, who most definitely does not look like the kid his friends teased back in college.

_Dang,_ Harry can’t stop himself from thinking. _No wonder everybody in this place wants him._

As Liam’s head slowly starts turning towards the door, Harry (very quietly) sprints to a seat near the back, pretty sure that Liam catching the guy who was friends with his bullies staring at him is not the way he wants his first day of term to go.

Sinking into his seat, he shakes his head, trying to mentally reconcile what he just saw with the boy he went to school with. It’s quite difficult, to put it lightly.

Just then, a finger taps him on the shoulder. He startles slightly, turning to face the person in question. A blonde white person is smiling at him like he’s the most hilarious thing in the world.

“You should’ve seen your face mate,” they say, an Irish accent escaping their lips. “Funniest thing in the world. But can’t judge, really, that’s how we all were when we saw Liam for the first time.” They pat him on the shoulder three times, small laughter escaping their lips as Harry turns away from them again. He appreciates they are at least keeping it at a low volume, so that no more eyes will be drawn to him for now.

The rest of lecture he finds it very difficult to focus. It doesn’t help that even Liam’s back is extremely defined. He knows he needs to stop staring because if he keeps doing it Liam will most likely be able to feel his eyes and turn around. Harry doesn’t want him to turn around, isn’t sure what his reaction would be.

Before he knows it the lecture is over and he’s got papers on his desk that he didn’t even notice had been put there. He picks them up and puts them in his backpack, starting to get up.

As he rises from his seat, he watches Zayn, Liam, and Louis talking to each other. Zayn turns his head for a second and then lights up with recognition. “Harry,” he calls, motioning him towards them.

Liam and Louis turn to follow Zayn’s gaze and Harry’s breath momentarily hitches at Liam’s eyes looking at him. He tries to hide it because Zayn’s still waiting.

Harry walks forward, throwing his backpack over his shoulder. “Yeah?”

“Me, Lou, and Liam were hoping to start a study group together,” Zayn says. “Would you like to join it?”

“Uh…” Harry stammers. So clearly Liam hasn’t told Zayn very much about college. “Why so early in the term?”

“Well, the more the professor went over it, the more nervous we all got about the amount of work that is going to have to go into this lecture,” Zayn explains. Harry nods, hoping they can’t tell he wasn’t actually paying attention during that. “And we’re thinking, like, this term is probably going to be super intense, so best to start making a plan now, yeah?”

“And besides,” Louis starts now, catching Harry off guard. “Zayn here told me that you knew Payno in college, so it should be just like old times for the two of you.” Harry makes an awkward smile, silently hoping he’s not blushing as he looks literally everywhere but Liam’s face. This is horrible…

The Irish kid from earlier breaks into the conversation suddenly. “Ooh that sounds cool! Do you think I could join too? I’m really worried about this lecture and I really need to do well for me degree.”

“Absolutely!” Louis responds, and Harry is thankful the spotlight is off of him for now. “I love your enthusiasm already, what’s your name?”

“Niall Horan.” The blonde extends a hand.

“Pleasure to meet you Niall,” Louis practically grabs the hand and shakes it really roughly, but Niall doesn’t even flinch and just laughs instead.

Their professor, Ms. Ronca, clears her throat. The five of them all turn around. “Boys, with all due respect, can you kindly cut the shenanigans and head on home now? Another lecture will be in here in less than ten minutes.”

They all mutter apologetically and Harry thinks he hears Louis call her a party-pooper, but he can’t be certain.

“So Harry, are you in?” Zayn asks as they turn back to face each other.

Harry thinks for a minute, weighing out the pros and cons. If the syllabus is as extensive as they say it is (and he believes them), he’s going to need all the help he can get. He also doesn’t know anybody in this place – other than Liam, if you can even count that as ‘knowing’ – and has always been the type to want to make as many friends as possible; perhaps these boys could be his first friends. Zayn seems to already like him, and they barely talked in that coffee shop.

The only real con he sees standing in his way is his friends’ history with Liam, and they’re not here. They’re back at another Uni closer to home.

“Sure,” he decides, shrugging. Louis, Zayn, and Niall all share a ‘yay!’ which Harry finds a bit weird but cute all the same. He thinks he’s going to like this place.

As they file out, Liam holds contact with Harry’s eyes for a few seconds, looking like he’s trying to figure something out. Harry isn’t sure what it is, but his heart beats faster nonetheless. However, as soon as it starts, it’s gone, Liam just shaking his head and walking to catch up with Louis and Zayn.

***

Harry’s in the cafeteria to get a very late lunch, since he had, for whatever reason, not eaten one during the two hour break between his two lectures. As he starts looking around for an empty table, he hears a familiar voice calling his name.

On the second “Harry!” he finally finds the face of that Irish guy named Niall, smiling at him expectantly as he motions to the seat beside himself.

Harry decides that he might as well, since he really didn’t actually enjoy the idea of sitting alone – even if his buzz of morning energy had dwindled down by now – and also, he’s going to be seeing this guy a lot, so might as well start becoming friends now.

As soon as he sits down, Niall immediately starts talking, a ball of energy no matter what time of day it is, evidently. “Hey there Harry. How are you doing today?”

“I’m alright,” Harry responds easily, folding his arms on the table. “Bit nervous ever since figuring out how tough our lecture is gonna be. How about you?”

Niall laughs, and Harry’s quickly figuring out he’s a very giggly person. “About the same, can’t lie. But it’ll be okay. Really excited I won’t be alone in the struggle, at least, since I’ll be in a study group with you lads.”

Harry nods, biting into a piece of his garlic bread. After swallowing, he asks, “So what are you majoring in then?”

Niall’s eyes instantly light up like he loves being asked that question, and Harry isn’t even sure he knows they’re doing that. “I’m going into Astronomy. I’ve always been, like, so obsessed with space and how vast it is. I wanna make discoveries up there nobody has yet.”

Harry can’t stop himself from smiling at how passionate Niall seems about this subject. One day when he’s less tired he thinks he’ll let Niall give him a five page ramble about space and what he’s going to do up there with his degree.

“That’s so cool man,” Harry responds genuinely. “’Fraid to say it but my degree isn’t nearly as interesting as that.”

Niall scoffs. “If it’s something you’re passionate about, it’s always interesting.”

Harry nods, smile growing bigger still. He likes that way of thinking. “Right, well, I’m gonna be majoring in business management. I have a dream of owning my own bakery.”

When he looks at him again, Niall’s face looks almost offended. “That _is_ cool, what the heck are you talking about?”

Harry shrugs, though he can feel himself blushing. “Business management isn’t exactly the first thing every little kid dreams of growing up, that’s all.”

Niall’s still got that same offended look on his face, but he decides to drop it. “Well, I find it really interesting how two people with such different degrees as ours ended up in the same maths lecture. What other lectures are you taking?”

“Introduction to Marketing, and Economics,” he answers, then laughs. “Riveting, I know. What about you?”

“Chemistry, Physics, and Computer Science,” Niall responds, shrugging. “I guess we’re two boring peas in a pod, there.”

For some reason that cracks Harry up and any negativity he was still holding in slips away. He keeps eating his food, listening to Niall talk about what he’s most excited to learn this term. Niall, Harry is quickly figuring out, definitely seems like the kind of person who can’t be in a silent room for too long and has to talk to you. Which is fine, as far as Harry is concerned, because he likes talking to people too. He just stinks at starting the conversation himself nine times out of ten.

Eventually, once they’ve both finished their plates, Niall has to go meet up with someone. Harry should probably go back to his dorm as well, maybe check up on his friends back home and see how they’re doing.

“Well, so long Harry,” Niall says, standing up. “Was great to meet you, can’t wait to see you in maths again soon.”

“Yeah,” Harry responds, feeling warm inside from how happy talking to Niall made him. He stands up too, and he sees Niall is reaching out a hand for him to shake, but he ignores that and goes straight for a full hug. Niall cracks up at it, patting Harry on the back. “Is that okay? Me hugging you?”

“Yeah, more than okay,” Niall laughs, easing Harry’s anxiety. “Just wasn’t expecting it, that’s all.”

After pulling back, Harry grins at him one last time. “Bye Niall. See ya later.”

“See ya.”

With that, both of them finally head off. As Harry goes back to his room, his smile won’t stop. He can’t wait to talk to his friends from back home about what a great first day he’s had.

As he lays in his bed back in his room, he pulls up Snapchat. He sees that Max, Jay, and Tom are all online right now. Siva isn’t, but he can always talk to him another time of course. Harry starts a video chat with the three of them, and smiles when he sees their faces, all of them saying variations of “hi” at once.

“Hey guys,” Harry greets once they all pause. “How are things back home?”

“Things are great,” Jay interjects quickly. “Me and Tom were accepted into the same fraternity, and have barely been sober ever since.” Both of them laugh then, but Harry’s not sure they’re joking.

“What about you?” Tom asks next. “How’s London? Gotten any chicks’ numbers yet?”

Harry forces out a laugh, hoping it comes out as authentic. “No, not yet. I’m really enjoying my lectures so far though. I’ve already found friends and we’re going to be in a study group together to, like, help each other through this rough lecture. I think our teacher likes us, even if she called us loud.”

He smiles just thinking about it, but is quickly cut off by a groan from Tom. “Study groups? That’s so boring, Harry. I wanna know about the parties! The scene, you know. London’s such a big city, surely you’ve gone to at least one party right?”

Harry bites his lips, trying to not show how offended he is at being cut off like that. He knows if he voiced his feelings he’d just be told off for taking everything so seriously. “Erm, no, I can’t say I have really…”

Max chuckles. “What a nerd. That’s alright, you’ll eventually get to one I’m sure.”

 _I’m sure my version of partying would be different than yours,_ Harry thinks to himself, but once again doesn’t say out loud. After that, the other boys diverge the conversation back to what they’ve been up to, girls’ numbers they’ve gotten, and professors they hate.

It’s pretty much exactly the kind of conversation they had back in school lunches all the time, but after talking to Niall, it feels different. Harry shakes it aside though, sure he’s just overreacting (as usual).

Eventually the four of them say their goodbyes, promising to chat again soon. After they all sign off, Harry lays down, exhausted all over again suddenly.

***

Harry keeps thinking about what his friends said, and after going through another awkward lecture with Liam, he decides he’s going to do it. He’s going to go to one of those big London parties they were talking about, because why not?

After all, he and his friends were some of the most popular people in the world back home. Everyone wanted to be their friends. There’s no reason things should be any different here.

So, here he is, hopping off the bus and taking the short walk from the bus stop to the club. A few other people follow behind him as he enters the building, holding open the door for like half a second before leaving it to the next person. Usually he would hold the door open for the next person but right now he has a specific mission in mind: get drunk fast and prove to his friends back home he’s not a nerd.

He wastes no time in going to the bar area and ordering two shots. As he sits and waits, he observes his surroundings; as expected, most of the people here are wearing sweatshirts with the name of the fraternity holding this event on them. Some people who have just showed up already look smashed, but that’s University for you he supposes.

He had heard about this party in the hallway between his first and second lecture of the day. He was just roaming around, one ear in his headphones listening to some Fleetwood Mac song, and one ear picking up on the conversation between two people.

“It’s gonna be so hype,” declared one student with an American accent. Harry silently wondered what this person’s story was, why they ended up going to Uni in the UK. “First party of the semester – sorry, I mean term.”

“You still haven’t told me where exactly it is,” the second student responded, sounding impatient.

“Oh, duh, of course,” American-Accent said. “It’s at the club XOYO. Opens at ten usually but we were able to use our charm to ask for it to be open at nine.” American-Accent laughs.

“Right…” the second student tried, not sounding very convinced.

Harry had stopped listening after that, but he also made a mental note to himself to remember to look up XOYO and how to get there so he’d be ready at nine, give or take.

Back in the present, Harry keeps downing shots like it’s nothing, until he feels tipsy enough to make his way over to the dancefloor.

Kesha is singing about the party not stopping, and Harry dances wobblily, trying to feel some kind of happiness. This was one of his favorite songs when it first came out; when he celebrated his eighteenth birthday he and his friends made a dance to it and everything.

As he remembers that he gets frustrated. What is wrong with him that he can’t be happy during one of his favorite songs ever? After wobbling awkwardly for a few more moments, he decides to go back and get more shots, figuring he probably just needs to get a little bit drunker and everything will be okay.

However, even though he orders and is ready to pay for three more, the bartender only gives him two and hands him change. When Harry looks at the bartender they just shake their head at him. “Those are the last two you’re getting, kid. You’ll have had more than enough. In fact, you’ll probably be thanking me in a few minutes.”

With that the bartender makes a beeline for the backroom, probably having already had enough fights with drunk Uni kids for one night, even if it pretty much just started. And, well, even though Harry tries to be a nice person, he can’t deny that he was ready to argue.

So he takes his two shots with grace and moves back to the dancefloor where Taylor Swift is singing about never ever getting back together. He tries to find his footing, tries to join in with the other people doing awkward dance moves and not caring what they look like, but once again he feels not even a tiny ounce of joy.

The next song is a weird dubstep remix of Somebody That I Used To Know by Gotye, and it’s about halfway through it when it happens. Tears start stinging Harry’s eyes and he grabs onto an unsuspecting person and cries, “Why is this so hard? It was never this hard back home. Everybody loved us there, everybody wanted to be us.”

“What are you talking about?” The person says, and Harry’s vaguely aware of the anger in this person’s voice at being touched by a stranger but his mind is so foggy he can’t put two and two together and keeps going.

“This is supposed to be fun! This is supposed to be normal! It always was fun back home, why isn’t it here?” He removes his hand from the person’s shirt but stands there, crying, not even thinking about all the people who are staring at him for being a buzzkill. “I thought I could prove to them… Prove to them that I still know how to have fun, that I’m not a loser…”

He doesn’t know at what point he ended up on the floor in a fit of tears, but before he knows it a bouncer is picking him up and leading him towards the door. “Go home, kid.”

Harry just continues sobbing, resigned to his fate of being walked to the door. “I couldn’t… I couldn’t even have a night at the club without them. Who am I without them?”

He’s not sure if the bouncer understands him, because they don’t respond and instead just continue leading him towards the door. He thinks at one point he sees the bartender from earlier looking at him with a ‘told-you-so’ expression.

After the bouncer sets him outside and closes the door, Harry scooches a little ways towards the grass near the building, not trusting his legs to work. Once he gets close enough to the grass, he just sits there for a few minutes crying.

His butt hits the pavement a bit hard then and he feels something in his back pocket. As he reaches to grab it out with shaky fingers he realizes he cracked his phone screen a little in his wallowing. Darn it, just another thing to add to this perfect night huh?

He unlocks his phone, making sure the damage is only external and not internal, and he’s relieved to see it opens the way it’s supposed to. That’s when the last rational part of his brain still left tells him to call someone; after all, he can’t stay out here all night.

He scrolls through his contact list and feels the sadness building back up again at all the names and numbers of people still in Wolverhampton. Those jerks, why did they leave him here by himself? Why did they have to stay at home?

Finally he lands on one – Louis. He still doesn’t know this guy’s last name, but he had given Harry his number during their last lecture so that they could all be in a group chat to discuss the dates and times of the study session, or something like that. Harry can’t remember every word he said, but he does know that Louis is the only name on this contact list that actually goes to this University, so he presses call.

The wait for Louis to answer the phone is agonizing and he almost thinks the guy isn’t going to pick up. It is, after all, midnight as Harry’s phone kindly informed him.

“Who is this and why are you calling me so d*** late?” Louis mutters groggily.

Harry can hear the tinge of anger in Louis’ voice through his sleepiness and that sends him over the edge again.

“I’m sorry,” he starts, stretching out the last word longer than necessary. “I didn’t mean to wake you up, I thought I could handle this on my own but I got kicked out of this club and you’re the only one on my contact list who-”

“Woah, woah, slow down,” Louis says, sounding much more awake now. Harry hadn’t even realized how fast he’d been talking; usually his friends back home would tease him for talking too slow. Oh gosh, his friends back home… He feels nauseous. “Harry? Harry from Ms. Ronca’s lecture?”

Harry makes a noise that he hopes sounds like confirmation, trying to ignore the feeling building up in his stomach. When Louis speaks again his voice is full of concern. “Mate are you drunk?”

And that’s all it takes. Harry finds himself puking all over the grass in front of him, getting some on his neck in the process.

Louis is frantic now; Harry can hear him yelling indecipherable things, and he thinks he hears him call Zayn’s name at one point. “Harry, come on, stay with me. You said something about a club. What club was it?”

“XOYO,” Harry barely gets out, and he thinks he hears Louis say they’re on their way before he pukes again.

***

Harry wakes up with a headache the size of a mountain, making an exasperated squeal at the pain before he can stop himself.

As he takes in his surroundings, he finds his head and heart pounding even faster. Where the _heck_ is he? He tries to think, recall what happened last night. All he can remember is checking into a club where some fraternity was throwing a party, and then…

Then what happened? Obviously he didn’t end up back in his own dorm room. Did he shag someone? He really can’t remember anything for the life of himself.

He really wants to get out of here and go back to his own room, since he doesn’t know who this place belongs to or their intentions, but when he tries to move the pain in his head brings him back down.

Just then, a door opens and closes. Footsteps start making their way towards the door to the room Harry’s in and he holds his breath, bracing himself.

“Ah, Harry, you’re awake. Thank goodness.” It’s Louis. Harry lets out his breath, relieved it’s someone he recognizes. “I’ll get you some ice water and brunch yeah?”

Harry’s stomach makes an extremely loud rumbling noise in response. Thankfully Louis doesn’t acknowledge it as he swings back towards the kitchen.

Louis comes back a little later with a big glass of ice water and a small bowl of macaroni and cheese. “Sorry it’s not like anything super fancy. I don’t really know what you like so I just stuck with the basics.” He pauses. “You’re not, like, a vegan or anything are you?”

“Nah,” Harry assures, taking a big sip of water and setting it on the bedside table. “I tried a few years ago but I quickly figured out I like ice cream too much.”

Louis cracks up and raises a tea mug Harry hadn’t realized he was holding. “Amen to that.”

Louis is about to turn around and leave Harry alone again but he stops him. “Wait Louis.” He turns back around. “What happened to me last night?”

“What happened is you scared me and Zayn half to death,” Louis responds, laughing dryly as he sits down on a chair next to the door. “I honestly don’t really know what happened; you were so drunk I couldn’t understand you. All I know is you called me from outside a club last night, and me and Zayn had to bring you back here since we don’t know where you live. My flatmate wasn’t so keen on it at first, but he moved to the couch when he saw the condition you were in.”

Harry flushes at this, taking a spoonful of macaroni and cheese. “Sorry,” he mumbles. He can’t even imagine what absolute mess he must have been last night to kick Louis’ flatmate to the couch. He feels so much guilt.

“It’s okay, really,” Louis assures him, looking at his watch. “However, I gotta leave now or I’ll be late for work. Feel free to just, like, leave your dirty dishes on the bedside table when you’re done with them. I left some pain medicine there too.” He pauses in his steps. “Oh, and if you plan on leaving, the door will lock behind you.”

Harry smiles as he swallows another bite of food. “Thanks man. Seriously.”

Louis just shrugs like it’s no big deal. “No problem. See you in our lecture yeah?”

Harry just nods, continuing chewing, as Louis walks away and closes the door. After he hears the sound of a car driving away, he takes the medication Louis pointed out and frowns.

Not only did he get so drunk last night that an almost-stranger had to take him in, but he also doesn’t even remember anything that happened. These two facts combined, he feels furious with himself. He spent all that time and money trying to prove to his friends that he wasn’t a loser, only to end up an even bigger one.

As he rises from Louis’ flatmate’s bed, taking one last sip of water, he realizes he’s not, and probably never will be, that same popular guy he was in Wolverhampton. Without his friends’ school reputations to back him up he’s not sure who he even is anymore…

***

After what ended up feeling like a really long first week, the second week of lectures speeds up with a vengeance. Ms. Ronca wastes no time in throwing them three different concepts at once, as well as letting them know the first test is one week from today. In between these announcements, Zayn, Louis, and Niall share looks with Harry as well as with each other, and he doesn’t have to guess to know what that means.

Sure enough, after lecture is over, Louis grabs Harry by the shoulder, with Zayn and Liam close behind him. “Hey there Harold. Me and my boys here-” he hears Liam laugh softly at that and will deny later how sweet he found the sound “-were wondering if you were free for a little bit right now so we could have our first study session? That was brutal in there, just now.”

“Definitely brutal,” Harry repeats, slightly amused. “Do you guys not have other lectures though?”

“Not until later,” Zayn supplies. “We’ve got like another three hours until our next one.”

Harry notices Louis’ arm is still on his shoulder and he removes it, finding it too distracting to try and walk while having another person practically attached to him.

“Right,” Harry says now, turning to face the three boys. “I’d be fine with a study session. I don’t have another lecture for the next two hours. But… wait, where’s Niall?”

At that, Zayn, Louis, and Liam all stop and look around. “Here I am!” Niall announces from behind Louis. All four of them jump back. “Gosh, you guys are so hard to catch up with, you know that? Especially with my dodgy knee.” He laughs at the others’ reactions to his grand entrance. “Now, where are we having this first studying sesh?”

Zayn and Louis share looks with each other at that, and Liam isn’t looking at anybody, he’s looking at his fingers, spinning the rings on them back and forth endlessly. Evidently this part of the deal hadn’t really been thought of until now. Harry bites his lips before he can comment on that.

Niall, bless him, doesn’t even seem to notice how awkward the room is right now. “Well, if you guys don’t already have an idea, can we go to the café in the cafeteria? I’m really tired right now and could use all the waking up I can get.”

Harry can’t help but think to himself that he doesn’t seem tired, but maybe this is Niall’s version of tired, he supposes. Harry just shrugs and says, “Yeah I could go for a coffee.”

“Yes!” Niall calls and gets in front of everybody. For a guy with a ‘dodgy knee’ he sure is fast when coffee’s involved. Harry just shakes his head and follows behind.

He hears Louis behind him mutter, “They better have good black tea or I am driving us all over to my mum’s place in Yorkshire so help me.”

Liam snorts and responds, “But then you’d miss your lectures, babe.”

“It’s worth missing for a good cuppa as far as I’m concerned!” Louis announces with no sarcasm whatsoever. Harry has to pinch his mouth to stop from laughing.

When they get down to the café, Harry orders a café au lait as always, not really paying attention to what anyone else orders as he goes and takes a seat by Niall.

“Ah,” Niall exhales proudly. “The lattes here are so good.”

“You feeling more awake already then?” Harry teases, bumping the other boy’s shoulder.

“Definitely,” Niall declares, taking another sip. On the desk Harry sees Niall’s got his notebook, a pen, and the textbook all out. Harry follows suite, reaching down into his backpack. He only has a pen, not a pencil, so his answers better be good, he supposes.

The other three boys shuffle in, Louis being the last to sit down - “I had to make sure their black tea was tolerable before committing to it” - and they all get started. As soon as Harry actually reads the first problem - instead of skimming like he did when he was trying to find the right page - he feels like his eyes are going to bulge out.

“Where the f*** do you even start with this?” he hears himself muttering. He goes back in his notebook, trying to find any notes he may have taken on this part.

Next to him, he hears a laugh. “Struggling already, are you, Harry?”

Harry turns to Niall with a glare. “Yeah, I kind of am actually. Would you like to help me instead of being a smart alec?”

“Woah,” Niall says, immediately putting his hands up. “No need to be hostile, I was just trying to lighten the mood.” Harry just blinks at him as Niall turns his chair a bit more towards him. “Here, this is how you start it.”

They keep going like that, helping each other when they struggle and taking sips of coffee and tea in between. Through all of this Harry can’t help but notice little things about each of them, including and especially Liam.

“Liam, babe, you haven’t asked for help once,” Zayn points out. He takes Liam’s paper in his hands and his mouth opens wide. “Are you already finished?”

The man in question turns red, doing that thing where he twists his ring back and forth indefinitely. Harry may or may not spend a few minutes trying to figure out if it’s on the left hand and then figure out it isn’t.

“Yeah, I am,” Liam confirms, blushing harder as Niall lets out a whistle.

“Why are you even still here?” Niall asks, almost offended in Liam’s honor. “You should go back to your dorm or whatever and take a nap. That’s what I would do.”

“I wanna stay to help you guys,” Liam tells him with a shrug, turning to finally grab his papers out of Zayn’s hands.

He says that so simply, like it’s without a question that he would stay to help these boys even though he finished forever ago. Harry’s heart warms.

“That’s great,” Louis says behind a yawn, killing the moment. “In that case can you come here and help me and Harold? We’ve both been trying to figure out number fifty for like the last ten minutes and it makes no sense at all.”

Liam’s eyes catch Harry’s for a second and Harry finds it hard to breathe. He scrambles to look at the problem again, as if the answer he’s been searching for for the last ten minutes will come to him in ten seconds. “Oh, no, I’m sure it’s not as hard as we’ve been making it-”

“Yeah, I’ll come over there, one second,” Liam says in a neutral tone. Harry looks up at him once more but he’s already moved his eyes to his mug, taking a big sip. Harry definitely does not stare at his arms during this, thank you very much.

As Liam comes over in between them, Harry gulps. Louis, completely oblivious to any awkwardness in the air, sighs with relief. “Thank goodness.”

Liam shows them how he started it, and stops at a certain point to ask them both where they think things should go from there, but both of them still shake their heads with uncertainty. Liam keeps going, until finally Louis stops him at one point and excitedly announces he knows how to finish it now.

“Thanks Payno!” Louis cheers, giving him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Liam just giggles and goes back to his seat.

Harry tries to pay attention to the rest of the explanation, he really does, but he can’t get over the fact that Liam’s arm was on his shoulder as he stood between the two of them to write. His shoulder feels almost abandoned now, as dramatic as he knows that sounds.

After it’s over and they all start packing their stuff away, Harry almost expects one of the other boys to bring up how awkward things were and ask him what that was all about, but none of them ever do.

“That was such fun lads,” Niall announces to all of them. “I can’t wait to do this again, I really like hanging out with you all.”

Harry grins and hums in agreement. Liam walks up beside Niall and wraps one arm around his shoulder. “I liked hanging out with you too, Niall. Are you free sometime soon? Would love to hang out with you outside of studying, like.”

Harry zips up his backpack and starts walking away to avoid being intentionally left out. “I would love to man! Can definitely see why everybody loves you so much here.”

He’s able to hold back his tears until he gets back to his dorm room.


	3. Front Seat, New View

Liam has been taking boxing since the spring of his twelfth year. He realized he needed to do something to be able to fight back against his bullies if things ever got physical. Originally his parents weren’t exactly sure he was doing this for the right reasons but they ultimately signed him up for it and took him to every lesson. He was always excited about telling them what he learned each time.

After graduating and going to University he continued doing it anyway. It was a great way to stay in shape and also to stay ready in case anyone in London had something to say.

When he first got here he had expected everything to be exactly the same as it was back home; even if those four boys couldn’t hurt him anymore – since he graduated a year prior to them – he was under no illusion that other people wouldn’t have the same messed up ideas about disabled people.

What he didn’t expect was for Zayn and Louis to want to be his friends the first day of meeting him, and not only that, but for many other people to hear about him and want to get to know him. He quickly became a known face in the hallway to almost everybody, and it was so hard to wrap his mind around. It still is, if he’s honest.

That first year he would constantly wonder what would happen if Siva, Max, Tom, and Jay were to come here after they graduated from Wolverhampton. He always liked to think he would be able to fight back now with all of the boxing he’s done. However, lucky for him, come second year, he didn’t get any of them.

He got Harry.

Harry Styles, the boy who hung out with those four but never said a word. Harry Styles, the one who just watched from his comfortable seat. Harry Styles, the one everybody wanted to be friends with back home.

It’s almost comical in a way. Liam doesn’t think he ever once heard Harry’s voice all throughout college, except when laughing at something one of the other four said. But then he just shows up in the same maths lecture as him, already friends with Zayn.

“Liam,” Zayn had said with a smile that morning when he and Louis sat down next to Liam. “I met one of your friends from school.” Liam had raised an eyebrow because he knew for a fact Andy was going to Uni nowhere near here, and couldn’t think of any other friend Zayn could possibly be talking about. “Harry, you remember him?”

He had said it with such genuine happiness, such excitement to tell Liam he had met one of his ‘friends.’ Liam had to try with much difficulty not to let his face show what he was thinking. Even though he has grown extremely close with Zayn and Louis, he never truly told them what he went through in college – because, believe it or not, it’s not a fun thing to talk about with anyone. What he has told them, he has conveniently left out the names of anybody involved.

As he does his stretches he thinks that maybe now is his chance to truly move on. Maybe the universe sent Harry to this University and to the same friend group as him to show Liam the past is the past. It’s dumb to keep defining himself by what happened in college, after all. That does not, however, mean he has to become besties with Harry overnight or anything, he thinks. All it means is he will finally stop obsessing over the memories and be nice to Harry whenever they are thrown together.

If the last study session is anything to go by, it would seem Harry wants the same.

***

After boxing that day, Liam goes to hang out with Niall at a pizza place on campus. After the study session, Niall and Liam had exchanged phone numbers and stayed true to their word of texting each other soon. Liam had been a bit annoyed at first because Niall’s main idea of “hanging out” involved golf, which was not Liam’s preference.

When Liam was reading the student newspaper yesterday and saw them mention a pizza place nearby, he was positive this would work perfectly because who the heck doesn’t love pizza right? Niall instantly sent him back a bunch of thumbs-up emojis and they made a plan for today at 3 PM.

Liam opens the door and he’s not in there for more than five seconds before Niall’s running up to give him a hug. “Payno!” he says, wrapping his arms around Liam, who reacts with surprise to the nickname. “Oh sorry, are only Zayn and Louis allowed to call you that? I mean, I heard them call you that a few times during our studying so I thought I’d just jump on it.” He laughs.

Liam giggles too. “No, no, you can call me that too,” he promises.

“Sick!” Niall responds, as if that’s the best news anybody could have ever given him. “Alright, I got us a table over here. I just ordered a medium cheese pizza for myself already. Didn’t know how you like yours so.” He shrugs.

“I actually love veggie pizza,” Liam tells him, then immediately looks down at his fingers. “Sorry, I know that’s a little weird. I didn’t think I would like it at first but like, one of the guys I box with brought it in one time after practice and I instantly fell in love with it.”

“Nah, I don’t think that’s weird at all,” Niall assures. “Kind of expected as much from a buff guy like you, to be into stuff like that. I bet you drink green smoothies too huh?” He’s laughing but Liam doesn’t think it’s with malice.

Liam hums. “Nah, never really got into those, I gotta say.”

Just then, their conversation is interrupted by the person coming through with Niall’s cheese pizza. “Can I get anything started for you, sir?” The waiter asks.

“Uh yeah, can I just have a small veggie pizza please?” Liam plays with his rings as he replies, not looking the waiter in the eyes. He’s always been this way with people he just met; he’s still not completely sure why, maybe his subconscious sees eye contact as something that is too intimate for strangers, or he’s afraid of what they will think of him. Whatever it is though, he never means it in malice.

“Of course, be right back with that,” the waiter says, voice not sounding even the slightest bit offended. Liam figures this person has probably had to deal with way worse than someone looking down at their hands today alone.

When Liam does finally look up to reach over to the napkin dispenser, what he sees immediately makes him double over in laughter. Niall truly wasted no time diving headfirst into the pizza, in fact Liam would be willing to wager he’s got two pieces in his mouth right now.

“Mate, you’re gonna choke like that,” Liam says, staring at the napkin in his hands now.

“Not really,” Niall responds through a mouthful of food. “I’ve always had like, a strong gag reflex or whatever? I don’t choke easily.” Liam tries to hide the smirk that comes on his face from that; darn him and his perverted mind. He blames Louis for that honestly. “I see where your mind is going, Payne. Don’t even.”

Liam cracks up again at that, unable to hold it back. He finds himself rocking back and forth, his body almost moving with the rhythm of his laughter.

Niall scowls, no doubt hating the fact that he’s the center of a joke right now. “Alright, alright, I get it.” He clears his throat. “Now I’m gonna put you on the spot.”

For some reason, even though that sentence would sound scary coming from anybody else, he’s not afraid of what Niall is going to ask. Something about Niall’s energy makes him trustworthy to Liam, even this early in their friendship. “Okay, go for it.”

“I was wondering… Why are you even in this maths lecture? Like, based on a few days ago… You got it all done, I don’t even know how fast, without needing any of us. Why don’t you go to a higher level, or something?” He sounds almost like he’s genuinely offended Liam’s still taking something that is ‘beneath him.’

Liam smiles and looks at Niall’s nose; a trick he sometimes uses in serious conversations to make the other person think he’s looking at their eyes. “Well, if I wasn’t in this lecture, I never would have met you, now would I?” Niall’s lips curl up slightly at that, but he looks like he still wants a real answer. Liam just shrugs. “Honestly I wish I had a cooler story to tell you than this, but it’s simply what the Uni requires everybody going into this major to take.”

That answer seems to satisfy Niall, at least a little bit. “And what would ‘this major’ be exactly?” he asks now.

“‘This major’ would be engineering,” Liam enthusiastically replies. He always gets excited talking about majors to people for some reason. “And what about you?”

Niall’s got another piece of food in his mouth already, but he responds with no shame. “Mine is Astronomy.” His eyes light up just as much as Liam’s sure his own did when responding.

Before Niall can continue however, the waiter arrives with Liam’s veggie pizza. “Thank you so much,” Liam tells them. Like Niall he wastes absolutely no time in digging in, although he takes much more ‘polite’ bites, he supposes.

Niall just snickers. “You buff guys are always taking such small bites, makes me feel like a hooligan sitting next to you.”

“I don’t think you’re a hooligan,” Liam assures, wiping excess grease off his hands. “My body has just always been weirdly sensitive to certain textures, ever since I was little. I have to eat slowly or else I will regret it.” He takes another bite. “Believe me, it has nothing to do with how many calories are in here or whatever. I couldn’t care less about that.”

Niall’s laugh is quickly becoming one of Liam’s favorite sounds, he decides. And the greatest part is he doesn’t have to worry about going too long without hearing it, because Niall just seems to find everything Liam says hilarious. “Life motto right there, mate.”

They chew in silence for a few minutes until Niall has two pieces left and is staring at them with defeat. Liam finishes the crust of his latest one, amused. “You look like I did last night when I was trying to find a third source for my essay and thinking about how I would still need two more after that.”

“You’re already doing essays this early in the term?” Niall grimaces, taking a sip of water.

“Unfortunately,” Liam confirms. “If you think Ms. Ronca is hard, thank your lucky stars you don’t have Mr. Powell. He’s literally the worst.”

“Sounds like it,” Niall agrees, drinking more water. “Hey, can I ask you another question?”

“Sure,” Liam replies easily. “I like your questions.”

At that, Niall’s face gets instantly covered in the reddest blush and the widest smile Liam’s ever seen in his life. It’s gotta be one of the most adorable things to exist.

“What made you want to go to this Uni instead of going somewhere back home?” Liam gulps. The suddenness of the question catches him off guard, before he realizes there’s no way Niall could possibly know something happened to him back home.

They just met for crying out loud. His voice is also the same polite, upbeat tone it was just minutes before; Liam doubts he’d still be so nonchalant about asking what he thought was a personal question. At least, that’s the impression he gets.

So Liam just shrugs and keeps it simple. “I wanted a change of scenery.” A pause. “And what about you, Mr. Irish accent?” he teases.

It’s as good a subject change as any. “About the same,” Niall agrees. “I’ve always loved the UK, my family and I would visit here a lot when I was younger on holidays and stuff. So when I started filling out applications for Uni, a good fifty percent of them were in this here country. I didn’t expect any of them to accept me, but this one did and I immediately jumped on the chance.”

Liam grins. “Well, I’m glad you did.”

Niall looks like he’s about to say something else, but just then the waiter comes back and asks them if they’d like some to-go boxes and/or dessert. Both kindly accept boxes and separate checks.

As they pick up their boxes and stand up, Liam puts one hand on Niall’s shoulder. “Thanks for this, Niall. I had a lot of fun.”

“Thank _you_ for inviting me, Liam,” Niall echoes, putting his own hand on Liam’s shoulder. “This is some of the best pizza I’ve ever had, and I don’t say that lightly.”

Liam laughs, and they have to remove their hands from each other in order to open the door. “I concur. We’ll have to do this again sometime, yeah?”

“Definitely,” Niall agrees. “Maybe next time we could invite the other boys too!”

Liam’s heart picks up speed slightly, not having to ask to know he means Zayn, Louis, and Harry. “Yeah, that would be cool.”

Niall hangs by his car for a second before smiling and saying, “See you ’round, Payno.”

“See you ’round, Niall.”

***

The second study session happens a week after the first one. Just as before, they meet in the café and order their favorite coffees and teas. Louis surprises Liam when he orders a double shot latte.

“I thought you hated coffee,” Liam points out as he walks in-step with the other boy, a Royal English Breakfast tea with three sugars in his own hand.

“I do,” Louis confirms as he takes a seat and unceremoniously sets down his coffee. “But I need a little bit more caffeine than the amount in tea to be able to handle this homework.”

Liam slides in beside him, shaking his head. “You know I’m gonna help you bro.”

“I’m not just talking about the maths, dear Liam.” He takes a sip of the latte and looks like he’s trying to fight the urge to say something with the baristas possibly listening in. “I have a geography test tomorrow as well, which is ten times more tedious than this, and that’s saying something.”

“Yeah…” Liam agrees, taking a sip. “’Fraid I wouldn’t be much help there.”

Louis just laughs and opens his textbook. “Yeah, that’s what I thought. It’s okay though. Let’s kick this maths in the bullocks together!”

“You know it,” Liam confirms through his own laughter, taking out his own textbook and paper.

A while passes before anyone talks to him again, which he’s fine with, really. He’s able to get thirty percent of the questions done without any struggle, and enjoy some nice tea at the same time.

“Liam?” It’s Niall’s voice now. “Can you come over here? Me, Harry, and Louis have all looked at this one and no matter how hard we stare at it it doesn’t make any sense.”

“Of course, mate,” Liam obliges, wiping the excess tea off his lips. As he gets closer he can’t help but notice how tense Harry is.

Apparently he isn’t the only one to notice this because Niall lightly shoves at Harry and says, “Hey, is this homework upsetting you or summat?”

“Yeah…” Harry mutters, even though Liam knows for a fact it’s not the homework but their close proximity.

“Don’t worry about it yeah?” Louis tries to assure him, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Liam here is going to help us figure it out. Right Liam?”

Biting his lips, Liam decides to put his money where his mouth is and start on that promise he made to himself at the gym; it’s time to move on. So he works up a smile and looks over at the notebook. “Yeah Harry, come on. This one was a little hard for me too. I’ll show you.”

It seems to work because even though Liam can see Harry looking at him with a look of shock at first, his shoulders eventually relax and by the time Liam’s done showing them how to do it Harry overall seems a lot more calm.

“Thanks Payno,” Niall tells him, patting his back three times.

“No probs,” Liam assures with a smile, going back to his seat. As he looks over at Zayn, he feels his eyebrows knitting together. “Zayn? Are you okay? Hardly heard from you since earlier.”

“No, I’m okay bro,” Zayn says, not taking his eyes up from his notebook. “I’m just really stressed out about this lecture, and about Uni in general lately. I’ll get through it though.”

Liam hums. “You know I’m always here if you need me, yeah?”

“Of course,” Zayn confirms, erasing something and blowing the dust away. “But I don’t want to make you do everything for me. Gotta be an adult and all that…”

Liam wants to argue that he doesn’t do everything ‘for’ anybody, that he listens to them and helps him as best he can, not just with maths but with everything. However, he can tell by Zayn’s demeanor that he’s upset about something that has nothing to do with him or this lecture, so he just presses a kiss to Zayn’s forehead and leaves it, going back to his homework.

Liam zones out for a while, the world around him becoming white noise as he does his work, taking sips of tea here and there.

“So you have a friend who is performing at the community center in a few days?” Niall asks. Liam’s ears pick up, curiosity piqued. He thinks Louis and Zayn did tell him about this already earlier but he wants to hear anyway.

“Yeah,” Louis responds enthusiastically. “They’re part of a band called By Five, and they’ve been looking to perform at this community center for a while now. They felt they didn’t have the right songs before but now they do and it’s great.”

“That’s so cool man,” Harry replies, excitement in his voice growing. “I used to be part of a band back in college.” Liam’s heartbeat starts beating quicker at the mention of Harry’s band; the one he had with his friends… those same friends who made Liam’s life back home horrible…

“Really?!” Louis nearly yells. “Was Liam in it with you?” Liam’s face feels like it’s going to burn off, so he keeps his gaze on his pencil running across the paper. “Liam, you never tell us anything important like this!”

Harry waits a few seconds before responding. “Erm… No, he wasn’t.” Harry clears his throat, sounding about as uncomfortable as Liam feels at that question. “Uh… It was me and my friends Tom, Max, Siva, and Jay. We were called ‘Harry and the Desired’.”

“Harry and the Desired!” Louis calls, laughing. “So you were the leader then, eh?” The sound of Louis slapping Harry’s knee echoes. “Well, do you remember any of them songs still?”

“I mean, yeah, a few. Why?”

“You should totally come and perform at my party on Saturday then!” Harry doesn’t immediately respond and Liam can imagine he must have given a look of fear or something because Louis continues. “Don’t worry, it won’t be at all like the last party you went to. It’s going to be way less people and not part of, like, a fraternity or anything. Come on, what do you say?”

Liam can’t help but silently wonder what happened at the last party he went to that made Harry so scared; perhaps that’s a weird thing to wonder about someone he only tolerates, but Liam’s always been an overly empathetic person.

Eventually Harry finally responds, “Yeah sure, why not?”

“Yes!” Louis cheers, slapping his shoulder and making Niall laugh. “Hear that Payno and Zayno? Harry’s gonna perform at the party on Saturday!”

“That’s great Lou,” Zayn replies, though a hint of bitterness lurks in his voice. Liam isn’t sure if it’s at the homework or something else. “You know I hate the nickname Zayno though.”

Louis scoffs. “Okay party-pooper. What’s got you in a bad mood then, hmm? One of these maths problems getting you down?”

“I’m fine,” Zayn mutters. “I can figure it out on my own.” Liam frowns, looking over at Zayn and the way he’s practically burning a hole in his paper with how hard he’s staring at it, writing and erasing stuff ad nauseum. Liam wishes he would just let him help him…

His thoughts are interrupted by Louis whispering in his ear, “Don’t worry bro, I’ve got this.” Louis then stands up from his chair and walks behind Liam until he reaches Zayn.

“Zayn,” Louis whispers. Liam can tell he’s trying very hard to make it so Liam can’t hear what they are saying to each other but he can’t help but hear it anyway. “What’s wrong, babes?”

Zayn starts sniffling. “I’m not good enough for this, Lou. I don’t know why they even f***in’ let me into this place. If I can’t even handle this f***ing maths lecture on my own how am I supposed to get anywhere in anything?”

“Babe, don’t say things like that,” Louis says, soft in both volume and tone. “You’re more than good enough. They wouldn’t have accepted you if they thought you weren’t. And asking for help is not weak, it’s strong. I promise you, okay?” Louis kisses his cheek then. “Now, show me the problem, yeah?”

Liam goes back into his own world after that, understanding that it’s not really him specifically Zayn had a problem with. He wishes he had never let his mind trick him into thinking that was the case.

***

Liam shows up at Louis’ house an hour early on Saturday, as per tradition with them. He notices Zayn’s car already parked as well. The two of them always show up early to Louis’ parties to ‘help’ him with set up – or in other words, do a good ninety percent of the work. The two times they didn’t, Louis placed all the alcohol on the tiniest table known to man and knocked over more glasses than he served drinks in. So yes, Zayn and Liam have always made sure to be at least an hour early ever since then.

When Liam walks in the door he sees Zayn at the stove, whisk in hand. It smells great, whatever it is, Liam thinks to himself.

“Hey guys,” he says as he sets a bag he brought down on the table. He starts looking around for something he can do.

“Hey Liam,” Zayn echoes, waving him over. Liam jogs up, wondering why he hasn’t heard Louis’ voice yet. When he gets over to the stove, Zayn whispers in Liam’s ear, “He’s been in a bit of a weird mood tonight, so take it easy, yeah? If he’s a bit short with you don’t think it’s, like, because of something you did, okay?”

“Okay,” Liam agrees with a nod, even though he’s already going through a million scenarios in his head about what Louis could be upset about.

“Payno!” Louis calls then, interrupting his thoughts. “Come into the living room and give me a cuddle really quick!”

Liam tries not to frown at the slight sad twinge in Louis’ words and makes his way over to the living room couch, wrapping his arms around the other boy. Despite himself, Liam can’t stop himself from asking, “What’s wrong, Tommo?”

Louis groans. “How do you always know when something is the matter? Can never get anything past you. Convinced you were made by The Fairy of Empathy or sommat.”

Liam giggles for a short moment, then bites his lips. “So what _is_ the matter then?”

Sighing, Louis turns so he and Liam are face to face. His voice is soft when he replies, “Zayn invited that girl I don’t like to the party.”

Liam knows exactly the girl Louis is referring to – it’s someone Zayn started hanging out with a lot after she and him got inducted into the same honor society. Her name is Gigi and quite frankly she’s the most harmless person Liam’s ever met. He can’t figure out why Louis doesn’t like her.

Out loud, though, he says with a shrug, “so why don’t you tell him he can’t? It’s your house, your party. You get to decide who does and doesn’t come, yeah?”

Louis throws his head back with another groan. “But it’s like, I can’t do that right? What kind of friend am I if I tell him he can’t invite his girlfriend?”

Liam raises one eyebrow and is unable to stop the scoff that escapes his lips. “Girlfriend?”

“Yeah, why else would they spend all that time together after they got inducted?” Louis demands, voice raising a bit too loud. He quickly lowers it as he continues. “Haven’t you seen the way they look at each other’s eyes? If that’s not love what is?”

Liam tries to keep his laughter as quiet as possible, stopping his body from doing that thing where it moves with his laughter. “Mate, I don’t know how to tell you how wrong you are right now.”

Louis raises an eyebrow at him, but before he can continue, they both hear Zayn’s voice booming from the kitchen. “Liam! Louis! The pasta is ready!”

Liam doesn’t have to be told twice. Even though he knows it’s disrespectful, he practically sprints off the couch, flapping his hands as he goes in the kitchen to get a small bowl. Louis eventually makes his way behind him at a much slower pace.

As they chew, Zayn gives Liam a look that is remarkably similar to the face his mum would pull when he would ‘forget’ he was supposed to do the dishes. “So like, are you actually going to help or are you just going to cuddle Louis all day and leave me to do everything?”

“I think cuddling all day sounds much more fun than doing work of any sort, don’t you Liam?” Louis asks, unapologetically talking with food in his mouth.

Liam just glares at the other brunette, and, once he finishes swallowing, turns back to Zayn. “Don’t worry bro, I’m deffo going to help you out. You never have to worry about that.”

He finishes his small bowl as quick as he can, and puts it in the sink, clapping his hands. “So, where do we start?”

“Oh I see how it is,” Louis calls exaggeratedly. “Just leave me here to cuddle myself.” He lets out the most dramatic sound Liam has ever heard in his life. Liam and Zayn just blink.

“You could always, like, help,” Zayn points out, putting the lid back on the pot of pasta. “Get your own house ready and stuff.”

“No thanks,” Louis responds, just like they knew he would, falling back on the couch and pretending to snore.

Liam just chuckles. “Alright Zayn, where’s the bubblage?”

The two of them start getting to work; sweeping the floors, putting the ‘bubblage’ somewhere people can easily get to but also won’t fall over, and of course, helping with the homemade ‘stage’ Harry will be singing on when he gets here. Liam wonders when he will get here, wonders how long he will stay after his set – if at all – and, as much as he tries not to, Liam also wonders if Harry will enjoy himself here, if it will make up for whatever happened at that other party Louis was talking to him about a few days ago.

Just as they’re about to finish up, the first person knocks on the door. Louis bounces off of the couch and goes to answer it. A light huff escapes his lips, as if Louis was forced against his will to do this party. Liam shakes his head, he loves his ridiculous friend so much.

“Why hello Harry,” Louis says after opening the door.

“Hi Louis,” Harry greets back with a smile in his voice. “I didn’t know if you guys had an amp for, like, guitars and stuff, so I brought my own in the car with me?”

“You brought your- oh wow, oh wow,” Louis shakes his head as Liam looks over. “Harry you didn’t need to do that. We’ve got an amp set up already.” He points at the stage area and Liam returns his gaze to the dishes.

“Oh… Sorry…” Harry replies, and Liam can practically feel him blushing from here.

Louis cracks up laughing. “Harry, you’re silly. C’mon, go over to Liam and he’ll help you get ready.” His voice gets louder, “Zayn! Come wait outside with me so we can greet guests as they come in!”

Zayn starts making his way over there, muttering in Liam’s ear, “That’s the most movement he’s done all day.” Liam snickers back, but it’s half-hearted because right now he’s thinking too hard about how he’s going to kick Louis’ butt after this for leaving him and Harry alone.

“I heard that you tw-” the rest of the sentence is muffled by the sound of the door closing behind the two boys.

For a moment, Liam and Harry do nothing more than just stand there, neither one making a move. Liam realizes how pathetic this is though, so he clears his throat. “Right, well, feel free to bring your guitar and stuff over here and I’ll help you get set up.”

It seems to take Harry a second longer to realize Liam is talking to him, but eventually he obliges, making his way over. Liam keeps his eyes on the stage equipment as he helps Harry plug in the guitar.

“So…” Harry draws out. Liam braces himself for the awkward small-talk ‘conversation’ that’s about to happen. “Are they always that weird with each other? Zayn and Louis I mean?”

Liam snorts before he can stop himself. “You have no idea. One time when I went over to this house – can’t remember why – I saw them on top of the roof. When I asked them how long they’d been up there, they shrugged and said ‘the whole day’ like it was completely normal.”

Harry giggles at that, and covers his mouth after doing so. “So… You’ve… like… been pretty happy since college it seems, then.”

This is exactly why Liam didn’t want to be left alone in a room with Harry; at the very mention of college, his emotions spiral out of control. He has to remind himself that things aren’t like that anymore, that it’s okay.

“Uh, yeah, yeah I have,” he responds with a nod as he finishes setting up the microphone. “Well, there you go. It should be, should be ready to rock now.”

“Liam, wait,” Harry says just as he’s about to move. He stills, frozen. “About what happened, back when we were in college. I just need you to know that I-”

“Liam!” screams a voice from the door. He turns towards it and who would be there but Niall? Perfect. Taking the way out, he runs towards the blonde man and opens his arms. Niall immediately smothers him in a big hug, eyeing the stage. “Oh hey Harry! Can’t wait for your set mate, bet it’s gonna rock!”

 _God Bless poor oblivious Niall_ , Liam thinks to himself.

After that, everybody starts piling in pretty quickly. Liam finds himself lost in a sweep of people asking him how he’s doing and asking him where stuff is. At one point, he sees Zayn, Louis, and Gigi all talking with each other, smiles on their faces. He shakes his head, glad whatever spell Louis was under earlier is over.

When a good majority of party guests have arrived, Harry speaks into the microphone. “Uh, hi everybody. I’m Harry Styles, and uh… Usually I have four other people to sing up here with me, but hopefully I’m not total s*** on my own.” He laughs awkwardly, the crowd following.

He strums his guitar strings, even though he doesn’t need to. Liam knows for a fact he already checked it was in tune like twenty times. “Alright, I’m gonna start with what was always a crowd pleaser back home.” The instrumental intro starts and, _“Who’s that shadow holding me hostage? I’ve been here for days…”_

As Harry’s voice fills everybody’s ears, Liam is taken back to a certain day in tenth year. The school was having a talent show for the first time in a long while. Liam had gone to try singing one of his own original songs, and the teachers evidently thought he wasn’t ready to be on a talent show stage. He cried as soon as he got home and told his mum.

That wasn’t the worst part though; the worst part was who _did_ get in. Harry Styles and the Desired. A group of five kids who had somehow impressed the teachers despite being younger than Liam. This song was the one that they sang at the auditions and ultimately, Liam guesses, the talent show. He wouldn’t know for certain since he pointedly avoided watching it, but hearing this, right now, is bringing back those feelings, those memories.

He carefully walks to the nearest bathroom, hoping nobody’s already passed out in there this early in the party – you can never be sure with Uni kids, he knows – and takes his stress toy out of his pocket, taking deep breaths until he’s sure the song is over.

***

It’s the third study session of the term, so by now everything is pretty straightforward for everyone. They go to the café, order their caffeine, sit down, and help each other with whatever they can. Liam and Harry are talking nicely, although still not without prompting. Everything is down to routine, the way Liam likes it.

Of course, as Liam has unfortunately learned, not everybody enjoys routine - and some people believe routines should be bent, broken, made uncomfortable. One of those people is named Louis.

“So Harry,” Louis says, wrapping an arm around the man in question. Liam instantly goes on guard mentally because he’s got that tone, that tone that he only uses when he’s going to put you on the spot, and when you hear it you should be very, very afraid. Based on Harry’s knee nervously bobbing, it would seem he already knows the deal even if he hasn’t had to deal with Louis’ antics as long as Liam has. “You never told us any stories about Wolverhampton.”

Liam bites his cheek. _Oh, great_. “Was Liam here always as much of a pushover back then?” Louis continues, laughing and seemingly unaware of the tension both Liam and Harry are feeling in the air. “Got any embarrassing stories me and Zayn can use as blackmail?”

He’s teasing, and pushing at Harry’s side, but when he looks over at Liam for a reaction, the last thing Liam sees before looking down is Louis’ expression slightly faltering. It’s probably because Liam’s not taking the bait like he usually would when it’s their normal playful banter; he will grumble, hide his face, say “stop it Louis,” do something. Right now though, he’s pointedly not reacting at all. Which no doubt confuses Louis an immense amount.

Harry inhales, and it’s like Liam can practically _hear_ him thinking through what the heck to say in response to that. “I think… He always treated people with kindness and, like… stayed out of the pranks.”

Liam has to try very hard to stop himself from biting at his nails or getting his stress toy out of his pocket, knowing it will just bring unnecessary attention to this.

Niall, blissfully unaware of any awkwardness in the room, just scoffs. “Harry I don’t think Louis was trying to deny he was a good person, there’s no need to be so dramatic…”

There are a few moments of silence, and Liam doesn’t have to look up to know there are eyes on him, although he’s not completely sure whose right now. Then suddenly he hears a gulp, like someone chugging down their drink, followed by Harry’s voice. “Well, thanks for the study session. I think I will finish the rest in my dorm room or something. See you next time guys!”

Liam does look up then, watching Harry dash out of the cafeteria. Zayn and Niall both blink, sharing looks of confusion. Louis’ face is turned away, as if he’s still seeing if Harry will come back, until he ultimately seems to decide it’s pointless, turning back to Liam. “Okay what the f*** was that about?”

“Dunno,” Liam shrugs, reverting his eyes to where he’s practically stabbed his notebook paper with a drawing of a sun. “Maybe he had another commitment or something.”

Niall and Zayn seem to move on, even though Zayn’s eyebrows stay close together with worry throughout the rest of their time. Liam isn’t sure Louis’ eyes ever leave Liam’s face, even when he’s writing something.

***

It’s bound to happen, Liam knows. His mind is on red alert, pretty much expecting any minute for Louis to pop out behind a door or something, somewhere he can’t hide, and demand to know what the deal is with him and Harry.

It’s bound to happen, and yet, when it does happen, he still isn’t prepared.

He and Zayn are in Louis’ flat, playing video games on the couch. They haven’t heard from Louis’ flatmate all day, which is strange because he usually tells them when they’re playing video games too noisily. He’s probably at work or something.

“Hey Liam,” Louis says. His body language is innocent enough, and his voice doesn’t seem to betray anything, so Liam decides it’s probably not going to happen right now. Probably… “Would you mind helping me go get groceries?”

“Oh yeah, of course man,” Liam responds without question. “Zayn probably needs time to recover from me destroying him that last round huh?” he giggles and gives Zayn a super soft nudge to the arm.

Zayn looks distracted, offended almost. Did the nudge actually hurt his soft soul somehow? Zayn laughs forcefully all the same. “Yeah, enjoy the feeling while it lasts bro. When you come back you’re mine.”

Liam stands up, choosing to ignore the weirdness in Zayn’s demeanor. “That better be a promise and not a threat,” he jokes as he follows Louis to the car.

He sits down in the shotgun seat and tries to reach for the radio but Louis stops him. “Nah, not really in the mood for music mate,” Louis tells him as he starts the engine. Liam blinks for a few seconds; Louis is _always_ in the mood for music, he _never_ enjoys quiet. He lets it slide though, maybe there’s something affecting both his and Zayn’s minds they haven’t told him about. Wouldn’t be the first time.

“Okay then…” Liam says awkwardly just for something to say. They start moving not long after that.

As they are going, they pass by a few flats already decorated for Halloween. Liam can’t believe this year is almost over – it feels like it just started yesterday. He still has no idea what he’s going to be this year.

Liam is zoning out, ready to take one of his power naps while waiting for them to get there, but Louis interrupts him before he can go fully unconscious. “Sooo Harry left pretty unexpectedly the other day.” Liam’s heart starts beating fast and he almost wishes he had the bravery to jump out the window. “What’s really interesting to me is that he didn’t have that little episode until after I asked him about you.”

Liam tries to swallow and realizes his mouth has gone dry. He doesn’t know how to respond, he just makes awkward stuttering noises. It’s then that they stop at a red light. He could do it, you know. He could open this door and run away without a goodbye. But that’s literally why this conversation has started right? Because somebody ran away when asked about his and Harry’s situation – so he doesn’t continue the cycle. He stays still.

Louis uses the opportunity of the red light to turn his face so Liam can clearly see how serious his expression is. “Liam, what really happened in college? Something obviously happened, something big.”

“A lot of things happened,” Liam pretends to play dumb, looking down at his fingers to play with his ring. “I got into boxing and was so good they put me in a tourney after less than one year. I was the only person in my year to hear back from London. Umm, I was-”

“Liam, stop it,” Louis demands, tone somehow equally firm and concerned. “You know what I mean. Did he…” He pauses for a moment. “Did he hurt you?”

“No!” Liam immediately denies, gaze going back up. He knows what Louis means by the word ‘hurt’ and that is one thing he can say with confidence Harry never did. “We were barely ever in close proximity to each other for more than like five seconds.”

“Then what are you so afraid of telling me?!” Louis urges. Liam drops his eyes again, vaguely aware of the gas starting up again. Louis takes a deep breath. “Liam, a few months ago you told Zayn and I that we were the most trustworthy people you had ever met. So forgive me for wanting to know what is so awful about whatever happened in college, that you can’t tell us about it.”

Liam obsessively plays with his lips for a few moments before answering. “Because I want to move on. And if I tell you what happened, that won’t be moving on…”

The two of them park a few minutes later and they do, in fact, get the groceries and bring them back to Louis’ flat. Louis doesn’t mention college again for the rest of the day, which Liam is grateful for.


	4. Sounds Like You Need A Friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of cruel irony happened in this chapter that I wasn't prepared for, sorry in advance! And credit, once again, to tumblr user ohnoballoons for that art.

Of course it would come up. Why wouldn’t it? Harry’s a buffoon if he honestly thought they could be in the same friend group and not have it come up ever. Especially with someone who has a personality like Louis’.

As he stabs his Economics homework with his pencil, he can’t believe he’s still obsessing over this. It was two days ago, and today he’s going to have to walk into that Maths lecture theatre. He needs to clear his head before that happens.

That’s something weird he’s noticed a lot though. Even before Louis asked that question at the table. He’s been thinking about Liam… a lot. He doesn’t know what the heck to make of these thoughts, but quite frankly, they’re distracting. He wishes they would kindly back off and let him focus on whatever this Economics homework is about instead.

What are these thoughts even supposed to mean, anyway? All it is is his face and laugh repeated over and over again on end, and for some reason Harry’s heart beats faster whenever the laugh plays in his head? Whatever, Harry says, whatever. None of that is important. What is important is that this Economics homework is due in four hours – because his Economics lecture is two hours after his Maths lecture, his lecture with Liam…

Harry huffs and spits at his paper, getting up to get another coffee. The coffee he makes himself isn’t as good as the coffee they serve in the café at Uni, he’s gotta admit it. _The café you go to with Liam once a week?_ His brain asks almost mockingly.

He opens the Economics textbook back up and forces himself to read it out loud so he has no choice but to think about this lecture and only this lecture, nothing else.

***

When Harry first sat down in his usual chair in front of Niall, he thought he finally had everything under control. He’d listen to Ms. Ronca speak, take a few notes, maybe share a joke or two with Niall, leave when lecture is over, and go eat some lunch before his Economics lecture started.

Most of that happens, but not the last part. Because as he starts to walk out of the lecture theatre to get that lunch he was thinking about, he’s intercepted.

“Hey Harry,” Louis says, wrapping an arm around his shoulder. Harry is probably the most affectionate friend you’ll ever meet, but he’s instantly uncomfortable with this.

“Oh, uh, hi Louis…” he replies awkwardly, still walking. “I thought we weren’t having a study session today, seeing as we just had one two days ago.”

“We’re not, we’re not,” Louis agrees, keeping pace with him. He’s still got that arm around his shoulder, and Harry’s starting to feel like it’s a lock keeping him chained in place. “But I thought maybe you and I could hang out a little bit before your next lecture, yeah? Just us bros?”

 _Yep, definitely a lock and chain_ , Harry thinks. He exhales, deciding not to fight it and just get this interrogation over with. “Fine.”

“Wonderful!” Louis says. He lets go of his shoulder, but Harry doesn’t feel any more free afterwards as he follows Louis to wherever he goes.

Harry isn’t sure where they’re going when he follows Louis onto, and then off of, the bus, but a pub was one of the last things on his mind. “Louis, is it really necessary to take me into public for this? I’m not going to run away again if that’s what you’re afraid of.”

“C’mon, why are you being so jumpy?” Louis insists. “Just sit back and enjoy a beverage with me – doesn’t have to be alcoholic, if you don’t want.”

“Can we just cut the bulls*** and get the vetting over with already? I wanna check my Econ homework again before I have to submit it in two hours.”

“You are so snippy, you know that? And here I was thinking I was the snippy one out of the two of us.” He turns away from Harry and to the bartender. “Ah yes one beer and one Shirley Temple for my friend, thanks.”

The bartender nods and leaves to make said beverages. After they do, Louis holds out a seat for Harry. He rolls his eyes but takes it anyway; the sooner this ‘fake-nice’ routine is over the better.

When the bartender comes back with the drinks, Louis hands over the money and takes an appreciative first sip. “Cheap and simple, just the way I like it. Got no need for those luxurious fancy beers celebrities are always drinking.”

Harry just hums as he drinks a sip of the Shirley Temple. He decides not to make anymore sassy comments; if nothing else, the beer will make Louis talk sooner than later.

“You know what else I’ve got no need for?” Louis challenges. “People who hurt my best friends.” Well, that didn’t take long after all. “So tell me, Harry Styles, did you hurt my angel Liam when you two were in college?”

Harry turns away from the drink to look at him, and if looks could kill he would probably be dying slowly and painfully right now. Louis’ shoulders are straightened, his hands are firm, and his face says ‘I will fight you right here and now if I have to.’

However intimidating it may be though, Harry stays as strong as he can. “And why exactly should _I_ want to tell you what happened if he doesn’t want to either?” Louis’ shoulders tense for a second. “Yes, it’s true, something bad happened between us. And even if I never hurt him, I might as well have. I feel guilty about it every day really.”

He stops himself before he can go too far, rubbing at his eye in a manner he hopes is discreet. “However, it is none of my business to be talking about your friend to you, behind his back.” He reaches in his pocket and pulls out a five dollar bill. “Here, thank you for the Shirley Temple.”

With that, he walks away. He doesn’t look back once, but Louis doesn’t follow him either. Good. He doesn’t need this. He needs to focus on his lecture, his grades, his degree… Actually important things.

***

It’s extremely awkward when they go to study together again. Everybody except Niall looks like they’re stopping themselves from saying expletives. Harry isn’t sure how much ‘help’ they are to each other in this position, but they seem to be getting through it – either that or they’re all just really good at pretending.

Harry doesn’t know how long passes without anybody saying anything, but eventually he hears Zayn murmur something indecipherable and looks up. “What?”

“I said I’m dropping out!” Zayn repeats loudly, the sound of his pen dropping echoing across the table.

“Are you having trouble with a problem?” Liam asks. “Zayn I can help you-”

“No,” Zayn answers firmly. “No more help. I don’t care about the f***ing Maths. In fact, I don’t f***ing care about this degree. I don’t know who lied to the generation before us, but Uni is NOT the best time of your life. The only thing that made it bearable was you guys, but right now you all look like you’d rather die than be together.”

“That’s not fair!” Harry intercepts. “We’ve been doing this for five weeks already and this is the first time we’ve had p-”

“You,” Zayn interrupts. “Are the _last_ person who should be talking to me about what isn’t fair.” He pauses, starting to sniffle. “It’s not about this one lecture or that one homework – it’s everything. And maybe I can’t repay my parents for all the time I wasted, but at least I can leave with enough time for them to get this term’s tuition back.”

“Zayn,” Louis squeaks out. “What are you saying? Why didn’t you tell me you were thinking about this?”

Zayn wipes his nose as he chuckles humorlessly. “Maybe, in a few months, you will look back and realize that I did tell you.” With that, he gets up from his seat and walks away, not leaving any time for further conversation. Harry just stares, speechless.

“Right,” Louis says, his voice cracking. “I think we should call this session over, then.” He grabs Liam’s hand, who has started crying in the midst of all this, and pulls both of them to follow Zayn’s trail.

Harry stays in his seat, trying to figure out how he feels right now. Zayn was the first friend he made at this Uni, and now he’s leaving? How exactly is he supposed to take that?

He’s broken out of his spell by Niall laughing, of all things. “Wow, this is actually the funniest thing I’ve ever seen.”

Harry turns so fast he feels like he’s going to break his neck. “ _Funny_? What the f*** is _funny_ about any of this?”

“Harry I didn’t mean like-”

“One of our friends just left, and you’re over here laughing like it’s a f***ing joke!” He knows he’s raising his voice, but he doesn’t care. “Usually I love your obliviousness, and how you seem to have no clue when there’s bad s*** going on, but this is serious.”

Niall just blinks for a few minutes before finally settling. “Oh, you think you know me so well don’t you? Newsflash, you don’t know me at all.” The laughter-induced smile is gone and replaced with a glare. “So much awkward s*** happens in a short period of time, I don’t think it’s funny. In fact, I think it’s not funny at all. So I laugh. I don’t cry, or scream, or throw a tantrum. I laugh. I have been told many years the way I react to things is weird, or rude, or whatever, but it’s how I react. Just like you react by getting angry at other people when you’re just as much at fault here!”

Niall stands up and gets in Harry’s bubble, and he can’t do anything more than just sit there and watch with wide eyes. “Maybe I’m not as ‘oblivious’ as you want to believe I am, Harry. For starters, I know that you and Liam are not friends. Not even close. I saw how awkward the two of you were at the party, I saw how Liam reacted when I asked him why he didn’t want to go to a University back home, and who could forget how you froze up when Zayn and Louis asked if you wanted to be in a study group with them and Liam?”

Harry gulps, feeling sweat decorate his face. “That’s right. I’m not ‘oblivious’ in the least - but you know why I pretend to be? Because I don’t like getting in other people’s business. I like being happy. You should thank me, really, for saving your butt twice. But oh don’t worry, I won’t do it anymore.” Niall starts picking up his backpack and cold drink from the table. “Because you two need to work out your s*** on your own, without help from someone so oblivious.”

As he leaves, Harry’s once again left unsure of how he’s supposed to feel. He had no idea Niall had been holding all that inside for the good of the group. He also had no idea they were both so obvious, when they tried their hardest to keep it all inside. He feels sick to his stomach. Zayn left and it’s all his fault - his dumb fault for not apologizing to Liam, for not saying what he needed to say until now.

He goes back to his room, not caring in the least about the lecture he’s supposed to be at. He’s in too bad a state to be able to listen to anything his professor has to say right now. As he lays in his bed, he starts thinking hard about how he’s going to apologize to Liam - and when he’s going to be able to do it, since right now might possibly be the worst time if there ever was one.

“Oh my gosh,” he mutters to himself, tossing back and forth to try and fall asleep. “Who allowed life to be so stressful?”

***

Two days later Harry is back in the Maths lecture. He still hasn’t talked to Liam, and he’s not sure how he’s going to – especially with these incessant thoughts in his head about how cute he looks and wow, why the heck is he thinking about that?

He makes his way to the back of the room this time, a place he has not seen anybody sit in all term. He tries to not look at anybody as he does so, but his heart still sinks when he sees Liam and Louis sitting in their usual seats out of his peripherals, with no Zayn beside them.

He takes deep breaths as he sits down, his vision drifting to the back of Niall’s head a few seats in front of him. As he attempts to listen to Ms. Ronca’s lesson, one thought keeps repeating over and over again: how the _heck_ is he going to fix this?

The lecture passes in a blur, and he’s never been more relieved for it to be over. He waits until Niall and Louis walk out the door, and tries to wait for Liam too but he seems to still be writing a lot of notes, so Harry gets up and starts walking.

He’s about halfway through the hallway, lost in his thoughts, when he feels a tap on his shoulder. He turns around, gasping. There’s Liam.

“Harry,” Liam says, not looking up from the rings on his fingers, which he twirls endlessly. “I’m… I’m sorry if you have any plans right now, but I needed to talk to you.” Harry just nods, even though he knows he can’t see it. “Could we, could we find somewhere a little less crowded than this hallway?”

“S-sure,” Harry tries, having trouble breathing because, hello, Liam is right in front of his face. “Umm… Coffee?”

Liam’s mouth raises the tiniest bit. “Of course.” With that, he turns around and raises his gaze to the ceiling, starting to walk in the direction of the café. Harry follows, slowly, as if going too fast will wake him up from whatever this dream is right now.

They do their usual routine of ordering a café au lait and Royal English Breakfast tea, then sit down at their usual table directly across from each other. Harry just sips and waits, taking note of how Liam’s shoulders keep rising and falling.

“This isn’t easy, for me,” Liam starts out. “Back home whenever I’d have a fight with someone I knew, I was always the one who had to apologize first. No matter if it was even my fault, I was still the one who had to clean up the mess.” He pauses, taking the smallest sip of tea. “But my best friend just dropped out, Louis is in an unchangeable trance of rage and sadness, and Niall is the quietest he’s been all term. All because of me. All because I had to be born with this ‘disease’ as your friends so kindly call it.”

Harry instantly shakes his head. “No, don’t say that-”

“And I was trying, I was really trying. To put what happened back home behind me.” The hand that isn’t on his cup keeps clenching and unclenching. “Because I saw you, and none of your friends, and I thought ‘this is a sign it’s time to move on.’ But I guess I just couldn’t move on quick enough. They figured it out anyway…” His voice gets softer at that last part, and Harry is afraid he’s going to start crying again.

“But you don’t have to move on!” Harry practically yells, surprising himself with how loud he is. “Don’t you know that? They mistreated you, and I did too by being complicit and never doing anything about it. F*** them honestly. F*** them. I wouldn’t blame you for holding a grudge forever.”

Liam sniffles. “But I thought they were your friends…” He buries his face in the lid of the cup.

“I thought they were too,” Harry says. “But then I came here and made some actual friends. And when one of those people dropped out, you know what my ‘friends’ back home said? They said I shouldn’t worry about him because he was obviously too dumb to make it through Uni.”

“Surprised they didn’t use a bigger word than ‘dumb’,” Liam mutters, taking another sip of tea.

It takes Harry a second to understand what that means. He gasps, appalled. “Liam, did they… did they call you the R word?”

“Let’s not…” Liam sobs, reaching in his pocket for something. “Please, let’s not talk about it. I’m having a hard enough time getting through this as it is.” His hand comes out of his pocket holding a stress toy; he squishes it over and over again and his crying slowly simmers down. “I don’t want to prolong this any more than I already have, because I know you have a lecture to prepare for and get to. So, I will just ask this one question. Harry Styles, do you want to be my friend?”

Harry just blinks a few times. “Do _you_ want to be mine? I don’t want you to force something just because you’re grieving over your best friend leaving.”

Liam squishes his toy a few more times, thinking. “I do. I have wanted to for a while, but hearing you admit that you didn’t even truly realize the extent of what they said to me… I want to be your friend.” He raises his gaze to look Harry in the eyes, and Harry’s pretty sure his heart skips more than a few beats. “If you want to be mine.”

“I-” Harry stutters. _I’ve been doing that a lot today,_ he thinks to himself. “Absolutely. Absolutely.”

And as Liam smiles back at him, he silently hopes he’s aware how much he really means that. It’s not just because he feels guilty for what his friends did (which he probably always will), but because in these five weeks alone he has learned through observation how much of a genuinely amazing person Liam is to everybody he meets. Nobody back home deserved his big heart.

“Okay then,” Liam responds, putting his stress toy back in his pocket. “I will let you go on to your next lecture then. Can’t wait to see you next time.”

“I can’t wait either,” Harry whispers, convinced his heart is going to soar right out of his chest any second now. As Liam walks away, Harry grabs his own cup and wills himself to get up and leave as well. The drink has gone cold.

***

The next study session is bittersweet. On the one hand, Niall and Louis are actually being nice to Harry again since hearing about his and Liam’s reconciliation. On the other hand, however, there is still an obvious missing space here, and it’s obviously eating at all four of them.

Louis is the first to break. “I miss him.”

“How can you miss him? He texts you every five seconds,” Niall observes.

Louis’ mouth hangs open for a few seconds, possibly out of shock that Niall would know that. Harry is slightly ashamed he ever thought Oblivious Niall was real. “No, I meant I miss him with _us_. We meshed so well together and now he’s just… gone.” At that exact moment Louis’ phone goes off with a text, and Harry has no doubt it’s Zayn himself.

“We could, like,” Harry starts, still not sure how popular his opinions are in this group. “FaceTime him or something and then it will be like he’s here.”

“I love that idea!” Liam responds immediately, already typing something on his phone. Harry smiles, glad Liam likes his idea. As the Facetime starts calling, Liam moves his phone to the middle of the table - while still keeping it angled towards himself.

His face appears on the screen, and all four of them say, “Hi Zayn” at the same time.

Zayn smiles for one second before it drops. “Is this an intervention or something?”

“Not at all,” Liam replies. “We just miss you as part of our… people. And we want you to know you’re still a part of ‘us’ even when you don’t go to Uni with us.”

“I gotta be honest Liam,” Zayn responds, frown still present. “I’m not sure what ‘us’ is without Uni, since it’s all we really talked about as a fivesome…”

“Well,” Niall pops in now, and Harry can’t help but think he’s doing that thing he talked about before about ‘saving their butts,’ since Liam looks hurt by the comment. “What do you say we fix that? If you have some free-time soon-” he laughs awkwardly, just realizing his mistake. Zayn’s face remains unchanging “-we could all go to get, like, pizza or something together? Like maybe this weekend or something?” He’s obsessively biting at his nails now. Harry tries to send him a comforting look but he doesn’t see it because his eyes are glued to the phone.

Zayn perks up a smile, and that seems to calm Niall down from whatever battle he was having inside his head. “I would like that. But it would have to be in the nighttime if it’s on Saturday, because I have a job interview that afternoon.”

Louis grabs the phone before anybody else has a chance to respond. “You do?!!!”

“I just told you that in a text message, like, two minutes before this call started,” Zayn laughs.

“Oh, well excuse me for not reading a text from you two minutes before talking to you!”

“Usually you do! You never keep me waiting! That’s my job, being late.”

During all of this, Niall, Liam, and Harry all share knowing looks with each other. If there’s one thing Harry’s learned this term - other than his old friends being buttholes - it’s that Louis and Zayn are the two clingiest people he’s ever met.

It’s cute for a while, but eventually Liam grabs his phone out of Louis’ hand. “Alright, Louis, quit hogging all the Zayn.” Louis pouts, sticking his tongue out, but doesn’t try to take it back. “Well, Zayn, does that sound like a plan?”

“Um…” Zayn rubs at his neck. “I’m sorry what was the plan again?” He laughs slightly, which causes everybody at the table to do the same.

“All of us going for pizza on Sunday,” Liam explains, looking around the table to make sure everybody else is on the same page. They all give him nods.

“Sounds like a plan to me,” Zayn grins. They all cheer, making him giggle some more. “I’ll, umm, talk to you guys later, okay?”

“Okay Zayn-berry,” Niall says. “Don’t work too hard.”

“I won’t,” he assures with a wink. At that everybody echoes their ‘goodbye’s until they hear the beeping sound that indicates he’s hung up.

The table already has a much happier feeling to it as Liam puts his phone back in his pocket and everybody sits back down.

“So…” Liam starts. “ _Now_ is everybody ready to do their homework?”

“Quite the opposite, really,” Louis pipes up, even though Harry can see him writing something in his binder. “I’d prefer to keep talking to Zayn instead.”

Niall cracks up at that, like it’s the greatest quote ever. Liam just smiles gently and says, “I’m sure you would, Louis” with a wink that looks more like a blink. Harry holds back a chuckle, though his mind continues repeating that image over and over again for the rest of the day.

***

It's Sunday, also known as pizza day. Harry wakes up with a smile, positive today is going to be a good day. He looks at the time; it’s ten AM, meaning he has exactly two hours until the time they decided to meet at the pizza place.

Stretching, he gets himself up and prepares a small coffee and a small oatmeal - just enough to keep him awake until lunch. After he’s done he finds himself brushing his teeth more than anyone would probably consider necessary. He doesn’t know why, himself. Is it because he’s nervous about seeing Zayn for the first time in a week? No, he really doesn’t think that’s what the issue is.

What he does know, however, is that time is money and he needs to spit this out and get ready. So he does. He puts on his deodorant, his shoes, and goes out the door. As he starts up his car, he checks the time. 11:30. Plenty of time to get there.

As he’s on his way he turns the radio on, scrolling a while until he finds the nearest Rock station. He would never say his friends made him feel ‘stifled’ when they were in the band together, but they definitely did a lot of compromising so they could get a sound they all liked to perform. Harry’s heart has always been in this music though; the music bands like Fleetwood Mac and Queen did. Now that he’s on his own, maybe he can finally make more songs like this.

 _Yeah_ , he thinks with a smile. _I would like that a lot_.

He turns into the pizza place and recognizes a car that’s either Liam, Louis, or Zayn’s. He remembers it from the party at Louis’ flat that one day. He pulls up next to it and parks, then wastes no time in getting out and going inside. It’s cold as heck out here today.

He breathes a sigh of relief at the sudden warmth that touches him as soon as he gets inside. The worker on duty comes over to him. “Just one?” they ask, already reaching for a menu.

“Oh, I’m actually here to meet four other people-” he starts to respond.

“Harry!” Liam calls, waving with a smile. And wow, if Harry’s heart doesn’t beat faster upon the sight. He wonders if he will ever get used to the fact that they are friends now. Probably not, since no matter what Liam said, he doesn’t personally think he deserves forgiveness or friendship. Harry puts on his best smile anyway though, despite his internal dialogue, and walks over there to sit down. “Why are you all the way over there? Come here, sit next to me.”

Harry blushes as he gets closer. “I thought you’d want to sit, like, in between Louis and Zayn or something.”

“Well you’re here first, so you get first dibs,” Liam giggles. Harry laughs along, not sure why he finds that so cute. “How has your day been so far?”

“Basically just started, so nothing really interesting yet,” Harry replies, taking a sip of the water that has been put in front of his seat. “I woke up at ten-ish, had oatmeal and coffee, and then got dressed and came here.” He laughs at how boring his day has been so far. “What about you?”

“I woke up around eight,” Liam starts, and Harry’s pretty sure he feels his eyes go wide, impressed. “Did a few stretches and push-ups, ate breakfast, and came here.”

“So is that, like, a normal day for you then?” Harry asks. “Like, do you start the day with exercise almost daily?”

Liam looks a little more distant at that, as if he still doesn’t want to tell Harry everything. Which is fair, but they were off to such a good start and Harry is racking his brain trying to figure out what he said to mess it up. “Yeah,” Liam replies, his fingers going up and down the condensation on the glass. “I started getting more active in year twelve when I joined boxing, and just, started making a daily routine out of it.” He shrugs.

“That’s really cool,” Harry says genuinely. “I would love to start, like, being more active and stuff.”

“I could teach you a few stretches sometime,” Liam offers. Harry feels his pants getting tighter at the idea of that. “It took me a while to get into it too, but once you get there you never go back.” He giggles.

Harry laughs awkwardly back. “Yeah, that sounds great. I would love that.” _You would love it a bit too much,_ his brain teases.

As if on cue, Niall arrives at that exact moment. “Liam! Harry!” It’s great to see a smile on Niall’s face directed at Harry’s presence again, he thinks. Filing in after him are Zayn and Louis practically attached at the hip. Niall follows Harry’s line of vision and rolls his eyes. “Yeah, they’ve been here for like ten minutes apparently but refused to remove their hands from each other long enough to walk inside until I got here.”

That doesn’t surprise Harry. Although he still finds it a bit ridiculous that anyone would willingly stay out in the cold that long. Niall passes around hugs to Harry, then Liam, and sits down.

“I’m just so happy to see you again, Zayn,” Louis is saying. “And I’m glad you don’t hate me.”

Zayn rolls his eyes with a smile, like he’s heard Louis say these exact things five times in a row already. “I could never hate you, babe.”

“You know,” Liam interrupts, amused. “With all due respect Louis, the rest of us also want a turn at hugging our friend.”

Louis looks ready to fight, but Zayn on the other hand rushes over to him. “Liam!” he calls, wrapping his arms around him tightly. Harry definitely doesn’t miss the way Louis glares at having his Zayn taken away from him. “I’ve missed you so much! You have to tell me everything I’ve missed.”

Liam laughs that full body laugh he sometimes does, where his whole body rocks back and forth with the sound. “Of course.”

He’s about to say more, but the waiter picks that time to come and take their orders. Since it’s a pizza place, they all basically know what they want without having to look at the menu (although Harry still takes a glimpse at it anyway out of force of habit).

While waiting for their pizza and breadsticks, Liam fills Zayn in on what he’s missed – which is mostly boring Maths stuff to be honest, but Zayn keeps a grin on his face anyway – and in turn Zayn tells everybody what he’s been doing too. “It’s a bit weird to have so much time to myself now – I’ve used it for stuff I never thought I’d do, like hiking, kayaking, and photography.”

“You actually went kayaking?” Liam asks. “I thought you were scared of the water.”

A blush creeps up on his face. “Well, I mean, I wore a life jacket the whole time and my mum went with me.” Harry smiles, loving the mental image he has of his friend right now.

“So how did the job interview go yesterday?” Niall speaks up. “Have you heard back yet?”

“No, I haven’t,” Zayn admits. “It will probably take a while before I do.”

“I’m not worried about it,” Niall tells him. “You’re amazing, I know you’re gonna get it.”

Zayn’s blush spreads wider. “Thanks Niall. That means a lot.” A few moments later, the food arrives.

The whole time, no matter how many bad jokes Niall tells or how many cool stories about what he’s been doing since leaving Zayn shares with them, all Harry can focus on is Liam. Liam’s smile, Liam’s voice, Liam’s muscles, the way Liam eats his pizza slowly to avoid getting texture overload or something. And when the lunch is over, as he’s going back to his car, he doesn’t feel a single ounce of the coldness. All he feels is warmth all over, warmth because of what an amazing and beautiful person Liam is. As he sits down in his car and turns it on, that’s when it finally hits him.

_Oh, s***._


	5. Come get a little closer, I wanna get to know ya

The day after their big lunch together, when they see each other in Maths again, Liam asks for Harry’s number. Harry’s eyes go wide at that and Liam explains that it will be easier to be friends if they actually have a way to contact each other outside of lecture. Harry’s eyes still never completely go back to normal, and Liam isn’t sure what to make of that, but he puts his number in his phone and goes back to his spot next to Louis again, oddly excited about the prospect of having Harry’s number in his phone.

Despite his weird excitement, however, he does not actually call or text it (outside of the group chat Louis’ had them all in since the beginning of the term) until a few mornings later. He’s about to go do his exercise before he remembers something.

He types in the number and Harry picks up on the second ring. “Liam, I mean this in the most respectful way possible, but why the f*** are you calling me so early?”

Liam starts cackling, his body going back and forth as he does so. When he’s finally able to catch his breath, he says, “I remembered how you said back at the pizza place on Sunday that you would like to learn how to do some stretches with me. I’m about to do them so I thought I’d call you.”

If it’s possible to hear someone blinking, Liam thinks he just did. “You were actually serious about that?” Harry asks with a yawn.

“Yeah?” Liam questions, starting to over-think now. “Why? Were you not? Because if you don’t actually want to do it, we don’t have to. I just thought it would be something fun and-”

“No, no, no,” Harry interrupts with a light laugh. “It’s okay, I do want to. Just tell me where to go and I’ll be there after I put a shirt on.”

“A shirt isn’t necessary if we’re working out,” Liam responds. Immediately after saying it he regrets it. He hears Harry sharply inhale and he scrambles. “No, wait, I didn’t mean it like that. I’m, uh, I’m just gonna send the address to you and I will see you soon?”

He says it as a question but doesn’t wait for an answer. He hangs up, too embarrassed, and just sends the text. He wouldn’t even blame Harry if he doesn’t come after that, to be honest. “Why am I so dumb sometimes?”

He gets out his stress by getting the weights and everything else he will need after the stretching is done and the actual workout begins. He’s about to give up and start stretching on his own, but then he hears a knock on the door. He opens it and grins when he sees Harry, glad his embarrassing comment didn’t scare the other boy away.

“Hi,” Harry greets, looking around. Liam steps aside so that he can walk in. “So, like, in case it wasn’t obvious-” he makes a motion at his chest area. “-I’m not as, like, in shape as you, though I try my best to eat well and stuff. So if I do everything completely wrong, don’t laugh at me.” He rubs at his neck awkwardly.

“Hey, don’t worry,” Liam assures kindly. “You’re in a judgment free zone. Besides, we all have to start somewhere. I didn’t get into an exercise routine overnight.” He rolls his shoulders back and gets into a good starting stance, standing directly in front of Harry. “Alright, so let me begin by saying that what stretches you do will differ on what the actual workout itself is. For me, I usually do arm workouts, so we’re going to do some basic arm and wrist stretches. You ready?”

Harry nods, his face looking about what Liam imagines his own face looked like on the very first day of boxing. Liam smiles at the memory and keeps going. “Alright, so put both of your arms out in front of you like this-” he demonstrates “-and then put your hands into light fists.” He waits for Harry to do it. “Good, so now we are going to rotate our wrists clockwise a few times and then we’ll reverse and do it counterclockwise.”

“Clockwise? Which way is that?” Harry asks with a blush.

“Here, I’ll show you.” Liam goes up beside him and rolls both wrists clockwise one time. Harry tries his best, but one wrist goes clockwise while the other one goes counterclockwise. Liam grabs the arm closest to him and tries to help him out, rolling it a few times himself before letting go and letting Harry continue. “You’re getting it!” He grins, imagining this must have been what his own instructor felt like when he finally got it right for the first time. “Alright, I’m gonna count it out a few times and then we’ll switch to counterclockwise.”

They do that for a few more minutes before Liam thinks they’re good to switch to the next one. “Alright, so for the next one we’re going to hold our left arm with our right hand, count to ten, then switch to holding the right arm with the left hand.”

Harry shrugs. “Easy enough.”

So they do. Liam already feels a light sweat building; it’s small, but it’s there. He thinks he also feels Harry staring at his arms but maybe he’s just being conceited. When he’s done counting to ten he turns to face Harry. “Alright, so now I’m gonna switch to the actual exercise itself. You can go home if you want to, or you can join me, it doesn’t really matter.”

“Right,” Harry says, looking a little flushed. Liam understands; even the simplest stretches can overwhelm you when you first try them. “No, I mean, I would love to do some actual exercise, but I gotta go to the bathroom first. Be right back.”

Liam nods as Harry practically rushes out the door. “No problem, I’ll be lifting weights when you get back.” He thinks he hears a weird squealing sound come from Harry’s mouth, but it’s gone as quick as it came, so he chalks it up to his own imagination.

He puts in one earbud and clicks shuffle on his workout playlist, putting the phone in his front pocket. He then lays down on his mat and starts lifting the weights, counting as he goes. One of his favorite songs that have been released this year – “Don’t Kill My Vibe” by Kendrick Lamar – comes on and he finds himself going faster whenever the chorus hits. He figured out early that a good playlist is key to a good workout.

Harry comes back from the bathroom and looks like a lost puppy, it’s adorable. Liam pauses the song and stands up, panting quietly.

“Oh,” Harry says, doing a double-take after seeing Liam all gross and sweaty already. “Didn’t mean to, like, interrupt you. Was just trying to figure out what to do.”

Liam laughs, walking slowly so his body doesn’t get too disoriented. “There are definitely a lot of things to do here. Over there is stuff like treadmills and ‘bicycles’ that don’t go anywhere but are good to keep your legs moving. There’s also another weightlifting machine next to the one I was using if you’d like that.” He’s motioning wildly and he hopes he’s not making things worse instead of better; Harry does have a very weird look on his face.

“Alright,” Harry nods. “I think I’m, uh, gonna go to the treadmill to start. I know we didn’t stretch for that but it seems like the least confusing thing, if that makes sense.”

“Okay,” Liam responds with a smile, already turning around and carefully going back to his weights. “Don’t forget we’ve got about one hour until Maths starts.”

Harry makes a sound at that. “One hour? Already?”

“I know right?” Liam says, opening up his playlist. “Don’t worry though, I’ve got an alarm set at the thirty minute marker. I don’t enjoy being late either, you know.” He laughs at his own dumb joke, then clicks play so he can focus on the music and the weights instead.

As always, he starts losing himself in a rhythm. He counts each time but his voice starts becoming distorted to his own ears, blurred out by the sounds of the music and the weight going up and down, up and down. Every now and then he looks over at Harry, who is probably not going much faster than about a 2.5 speed, and grins. He finds it amazing that after their conversation in the café it took like no time at all to get comfortable with Harry’s presence in his life. Even with Niall, who is the nicest person ever, it took him a few days to be comfortable enough to make eye contact with him; with Harry, it’s happened pretty quickly (relatively speaking, of course). He definitely thinks that’s a good sign.

Before he knows it, the alarm is going off. He puts the weight down, presses ‘stop’ on the timer, and slowly stands up. He takes a big exhale, and looks over at Harry, who is doing a bit of a penguin waddle. “I’m so jelly legged,” Harry says between panting.

Liam laughs at the description, wiping off the sweat on his forehead. Harry’s eyes seem to follow the movement. “I’m gonna go take a quick shower now, you are welcome to follow me and take one too if you’d like?”

Harry swallows, looking like he’s thinking really hard about that. Liam isn’t sure why. “I would, but uh… I didn’t bring a change of clothes. So I’m just gonna, like, go home. I’ll see you in the lecture though yeah?”

“Of course,” Liam nods. “This was fun. Let me know if you wanna do it again sometime!”

“Definitely,” Harry breathes. He looks like he’s about to go for a hug but then remembers how sweaty they both are and decides against it. “Thank you Liam. See you later.”

He watches as Harry walks – more like wobbles – through the door, and after he hears the car start he goes to the shower.

***

It’s week seven, and the prospect of the midterm coming soon is weighing heavily on everyone’s minds. Even Liam, who has understood every concept well enough all term, finds himself struggling to remember what they talked about in chapter one.

Ms. Ronca was nice enough to give them a study guide, but that doesn’t mean anything because Liam knows for a fact that just because it’s on the study guide doesn’t mean it will be on the exam – and if it is, it may be worded in a completely different way to purposely confuse you.

He breathes out, taking a huge sip of his tea. “This is gonna be a long week of preparation, I can already feel it.”

“Not sure what you mean by preparation,” Louis comments. “I’m planning on getting drunk on TV shows for the next week and just letting what happens, happen.” The amount of anxiety in his body language betrays the lie, but nobody mentions it.

Niall snorts through his nose, his mouth preoccupied with drinking his tea latte. “I like the way you think Tommo. I’m looking at this thing and don’t even recognize most of this stuff. And it’s only been two months.”

“I don’t know,” Harry says. “I think a lot of it is coming back to me, personally…” Liam watches as Harry’s pencil skids across the paper with speed, and gets closer.

“Hey, wait, how did you solve that one?” Liam asks, pointing at the other man’s paper. “I’ve been staring at it for like five minutes and don’t have a clue.”

“Really?” Harry’s eyebrows go up. “You actually taught me the method for that one at the beginning of the term.” Harry grabs Liam’s paper. “See, you start like this remember?”

As he keeps going, Liam’s eyes light up. “Oh yeah, that’s right. I remember now! Thanks Harry.” He finishes the problem using the work Harry started for him and feels a lot more confident.

“No problem,” Harry replies with a smile.

“Wow,” Niall breathes out. When Liam looks up, he and Louis are looking at both of them with grins. “This truly has been a long seven weeks, hasn’t it?”

Liam and Harry then look over at each other with appreciation, knowing exactly what Niall means. _It sure has been_ , Liam thinks.

That night Liam goes to bed a bit late, unable to feel fully confident in the amount of studying he gets done no matter how hard he tries. Eventually he decides he’s done all he can and lays down. When he is about to reach unconsciousness, a text on his phone jets him back awake.

The text is from Zayn. _I think I like Louis_ , it reads. Internally, Liam almost wants to yell ‘finally you figure it out? I figured it out a year ago,’ but he doesn’t. Because while it’s super easy for him to notice things in other people quickly, he also knows it’s really difficult to notice them in yourself.

Before he can reply, another text comes in. _What do I do? *sad face*_ Liam can’t help but notice that Zayn never uses proper grammar and spelling in texts like this – something is always misspelled or lowercase when it needs to be uppercase.

 **LP:** _You should tell him._

 **Z:** _But what if he doesn’t want to be my friend anymore once he knows? I couldn’t handle that._

 **LP:** _IF that happens (which it won’t), it will be okay. Because you don’t even go to the same Uni anymore, so you don’t have to see each other unless you want to._

 **Z:** _But I do want to see him, that’s the problem :(_

 **LP:** _Trust me, Z, it will be okay. You two are too strong to stop being friends over this._

 **Z:** _Thanks Liam …. Xxx_

 **LP:** _of course x_

***

Liam doesn’t wake up the next day to a text from Louis so he takes it that Zayn must still need more time to work up the confidence to do it. That’s fine, he can definitely understand that. He does, however, wake up to a text from Harry saying that he’s ready to head to the gym with Liam.

This is the first time, since they started doing this a week ago, that Harry has taken initiative like that instead of Liam calling him and waking him up. He smiles, grabs his gym bag, brushes his teeth, and texts Harry that he’s on his way.

When he gets there, Harry is already on the weightlifting machine, panting furiously. Liam puts on his best fake offended face. “Harry Styles, did you do stretches without me?”

That surprises Harry so hard that his arms let go of the weight and the machine starts making frantic electrical sounds. Harry gets up from it, walking away as if afraid of getting electrocuted. Liam covers his ears, the sound painful to his senses.

When a person who works there notices the sound and comes to fix it, Liam and Harry turn to each other again. “You really do know how to make quite an entrance, don’t you?” he says, still panting.

Liam removes his hands from his ears, though the sound is still echoing in his head. He needs music pronto. “Yeah, well, guess it’s my magnetic personality,” he tries, getting his earbuds out of his bag and quickly plugging them in to the phone.

Harry raises an eyebrow. “Are you okay? I didn’t seriously offend you by getting started did I?”

“What? Oh no, not at all,” Liam assures with a quick smile, the sound now gone from his head and replaced with Starships by Nicki Minaj. “Sometimes certain sounds, like, mess with my entire body even after they’re gone. But it’s okay. Not your fault.”

Harry smiles back, although he still looks a little guilty. “Yeah, well, I was _trying_ to impress you with how far I have come with exercise, but after doing that for all of two minutes I think it’s clear I still have a long way to go.” He laughs, rubbing at his neck.

“Hey, you don’t have to try to impress me,” Liam tells him honestly. “As long as you’re enjoying yourself, that’s what’s most important.” Harry doesn’t say anything to that, just keeps smiling at him. “I’m gonna do some leg exercises now. Do you wanna cool down with the treadmill? I know that one’s your favorite.” He pushes his shoulder playfully.

Harry nods. “Sounds amazing.”

Liam starts with the classic ‘touch your toes’ stretch that everybody first learned in primary school. He remembers thinking he would never be able to touch his own toes without bending his knees, but now he can do it easily. After doing that for ten seconds, he gets up on the treadmill. According to the little diagram on the screen, he makes it around the digital field eight times in a row before the timer goes off that signifies it’s thirty minutes until Maths.

The two boys make their way to the showers – Harry has been consistent in remembering actual clothes since their first time – and as they are getting there, Liam can’t help but admire how beautiful Harry is right now. He remembers when they did this for the first time last week, Harry had pointed at his chest as if there was something wrong with it. Liam doesn’t understand why he would think that, because to Liam his chest is so beautiful. It makes him sad he doesn’t have confidence in his appearance.

As Liam’s in the shower he wonders why the heck he is thinking about his friend’s chest in the first place. And where the heck this boner came from.

After taking a longer shower than he usually does, drying off, and changing, he freaks out when he looks at the time. Putting the pedal to the metal, he says a quick goodbye to the nice people at the check-out desk and gets in his car. He hates when his routine gets thrown even a little bit off schedule.

When he gets in the lecture theatre, he breathes a sigh of relief. There are still two minutes left until it officially starts. He takes his usual seat and allows his heart beat to calm down. One second later, Harry walks in the room, calm and collected as ever. “You left in such a hurry I didn’t get to give you this back,” he says, Liam’s stress toy in his hand.

“Oh my gosh.” Liam takes it with gratitude. “Thank you, I didn’t even realize it fell out of my pocket.”

“Yeah,” Harry says over a laugh. “I bet not, since you ran out of there faster than a jet plane.”

Before they can keep talking, Ms. Ronca enters the room and tells everybody to take a seat. As they do, she reminds them, for the eight-hundredth time, that the midterm exam is coming up really soon and they all better be getting ready for it.

Liam tries to listen, he really does, but for some strange reason he keeps going back to how Harry looked earlier today on the treadmill, how he had wanted to impress Liam with his weight lifting capabilities, how genuinely concerned he was that he had done something to offend him by starting without him. He wonders why he can’t get him out of his head and what these thoughts are supposed to mean.

***

Liam’s been worried that he’s spending so much time with Harry that he’s neglected his other friends, so one day he decides to invite Niall to see the movie Skyfall with him.

When Liam arrives at the cinema, Niall immediately runs into Liam’s arms. “Payno!”

“Hey Niall,” Liam greets, passing him one of the two tickets he printed out at home. “You’re acting like you haven’t seen me in a million years or something.”

“Well excuse me for being excited that I’m actually seeing my friend in a non-Maths related venue for once.” He playfully rolls his eyes and goes back up to the counter where he has apparently already ordered a popcorn for both of them. The workers eye them, as if they’re annoyed Niall abandoned his popcorn immediately after ordering it.

“Yeah,” Liam continues their conversation, walking and talking. “I’m sorry we haven’t hung out more. I’ve been meaning to do more, you know, but uh, keep getting caught up with other things…”

“Yeah you and Harry have been hanging out a lot haven’t ya?” Niall pushes him lightly. Liam blushes, feeling guilty at Niall’s bluntness. “I’m glad, you two were driving me bullocks you know.” They hand their tickets to the usher, who tells them which way to go.

Liam laughs. He’s glad it’s so easy to laugh at that now. He almost thought he’d never be able to. “Yeah, I’m sure. I’m glad we worked it out.”

“More than just worked it out mate,” Niall replies like it’s the understatement of the century. “You two are, like, golden friends. You remind me of Zayn and Louis. I almost feel like a fifth wheel now.”

He’s laughing hard but Liam’s heart rate has increased now. “We remind you of Zayn and Louis?” The two of them sit down in their seats.

“Yeah!” Niall confirms, assessing Liam’s body language. “It’s a compliment, bro. Don’t worry, I don’t actually feel left out or anything. I was joking.”

But Liam’s not reacting this way because he’s offended, or thinks he offended someone else. He’s reacting this way because Niall basically just said Liam and Harry act like two people who obviously have crushes on each other – and knowing Niall, he knows exactly what he’s doing.

The movie starts shortly after that, but for the life of him Liam can’t get his mind off of Niall’s comment for the totality of it. And his own thought from a few nights ago when Zayn texted him comes flashing back to him. _It’s easier to notice things in other people than it is to notice them in yourself._

***

Midterm exams come and go, but just because the battle is over doesn’t mean the war is. After all, they still have seven weeks left… or is it eight? Liam can’t remember. His head is spinning with numbers too much right now.

That’s when Harry starts walking out the door. Taking a deep breath, he tells Louis that he’ll be a few minutes late to the study session today. Louis looks at him oddly but just shrugs and says, “Yeah alright lad. Whatever you need.”

Liam smiles at him gratefully and then walks out the door, catching Harry just in time before he’s about to descend the stairs to the café. “Harry, wait,” he says, tapping him on the shoulder.

Harry turns around, confused. “Oh, hi Liam. Are we not supposed to study today? I thought for sure it was Wednesday.”

“It is,” Liam confirms. “But I have something to talk to you about first.”

Harry still looks confused, but he nods for Liam to go on. Liam’s eyes drop to his rings, not sure if he actually can do this.

“So, uh… I was hanging out with Niall a few days ago and he said this thing that got me thinking and…” He swallows, spinning his rings faster now. “Harry, do you want to be my boyfriend?”

He can’t look up, he can’t look up. His heart feels like it’s going to plummet out of his chest with how long Harry is taking to respond.

“Are you kidding me?” He finally replies, sounding choked up. As it turns out, Liam doesn’t even have to look up because then Harry is grabbing his face into a kiss, which he reciprocates happily. When it ends they remain against each other, eye to eye, nose to nose. “Absolutely. Absolutely.”

Catching him off guard, Harry then separates them and grabs his hand. “Come on! We gotta go tell the others!” Liam’s never seen Harry move this fast, even at the gym, and he’s almost afraid of falling over as he continues to laugh all the way down the stairs.

As they walk into the study session hand in hand, Louis practically squeals at them. “Lads, guess what! Zayn and I are dating!”

“Really?” Harry challenges with one eyebrow. “So are me and Liam.”

“Oh no you don’t!” Louis picks up his phone, which has apparently been on a six minute conversation if Liam read that correctly. “Zayn, Liam and Harry are trying to steal our moment!”

“Liam and Harry?” they can hear Zayn say. “Since when are they dating?”

Meanwhile, Niall is over there in his seat, grimace on his face like he already just wants to go home. “I never thought I’d want to get some actual studying done this bad,” he mutters over a sip of his cup.


	6. Epilogue

It’s winter break and everybody has gone back home. Harry almost didn’t want to go back, if he’s honest. He would have preferred to stay at the University with Liam through the break. It was actually Liam himself who convinced him to go back to Wolverhampton.

“It doesn’t matter what any of them say, anymore,” Liam had said. “Because we have each other, and we don’t need anybody else.” A pause. “And besides, I know for a fact that your family would kill you if you didn’t come back for Christmas.”

So, they did. Right now Harry is at the grocery store to buy Liam’s favorite brand of tea – both of them have been having caffeine withdrawals since getting back home – and a few other things. It doesn’t take him too long to find everything he needs to make the delicious looking omelet he saw online last night.

Right as he’s backing up to try and turn to find the next thing on the list, he bumps into someone. “Oh, sorry,” he turns, ready to apologize, and then freezes. The person he ran into is Max, and Tom, Jay, and Siva are all right behind him. _Do they ever go_ anywhere _alone?_ He wonders silently.

“Harry!” Max says, his enthusiasm laced with mischief. And not the good kind of mischief like the type Louis does back in Uni. “So nice to see you again. Would have been nicer if we’d gotten some kind of message or something that you were coming back.”

“Yeah, well, I wanted it to be a surprise,” he lies, not even attempting to change his tone.

“Right,” Siva cuts in. “So we just imagined the part where you removed all of us from your Snapchat, right?”

Harry’s surprised they even noticed that to be honest. He didn’t consider himself unfriending them important enough of an event to be on their radars.

“Shh,” Max interrupts. “Siva, play nice.” He gets an obviously fake smile on his face and Harry thinks he already knows what is coming next. “So Harry, me and the boys here are all dying to know. What’s it like going to Uni with loser Liam?” All four of them laugh and Harry has to fight really hard to keep his jaw and eyes in check.

“It’s great actually,” he finally says, and watches all of their faces drop. He flips all four of them the bird for good measure, hoping no children see him, and spins around so he’s practically riding his cart, heading for the tea section.

When he gets home, he will dig up any and all stuff that still might be at his house that belongs to his four ex friends. He will then start the kettle, make Liam’s favorite tea, and both of them will sip on it while watching all the newest rom-coms. Eventually they will fall asleep curled up in each other’s bodies, faces still together in a kiss.

And Harry will think _yeah, this is truly the best decision I ever made_.


End file.
